


Taking the Throne

by MTMagni



Category: Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Ahch-To, Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, F/M, Finalizer (Star Wars), First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, Force Baby, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Sex, Hux is Not Nice, Kissing, Kylo Ren Redemption, Masturbation, Multiple Orgasms, Neck Kissing, Oral Sex, Reconciliation, Romance, Sexually Frustrated, Smut, Soulmates, Throne Sex, a mother's love, cosmic force, failure - Freeform, force orgasms, pain and pleasure, sexual healing, showersex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-03-24 14:20:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 44,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13812987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MTMagni/pseuds/MTMagni
Summary: Agreeing to join him, Rey and Ben are overcome with passion and lust, defiling the throne of the slain Supreme Leader Snoke. Proclaiming himself Supreme Leader, Ben and Rey explore their passion and uncover the truth of their mysterious connection."Suspended, as if he had fallen into a still and glassy pool of warm comforting water. For the first time in Ben Solo's life, he finally knew peace. Connected physically and spiritually, she soothed his fractured soul, calmed the chaos and anger. Swimming in that placidity, he could feel the barriers melt away. Walls that he had fortified with every ounce of his force power, protecting him from the relentless assault of this world and beyond, collapsed with her three words. I love you."This story starts very smutty and developed into something more. The first few chapters are about Rey and Ben's physical attraction and as the chapters progress it goes deeper into Ben's redemption, making peace with the past, and creating a new future.Thank you for reading and for going on this journey with me.





	1. Taking the Throne

"Join me.......please." Reaching his gloved hand out, he was trembling. Sweaty, regaining his breath, looking at her with longing sad brown eyes. 

The mysterious power, the elation, was still coursing through her. Everything he felt, she felt. The drips of sweat streaming down his face, the tears welling in his eyes, the desperation. The black leather, sheathing the soft fingertips, shielding the touch that had stretched across the galaxy, only for her. The sight of it stung her heart, she could not bear to take his gloved hand. 

"Take it off." She demanded.

Looking her up and down, a small smile started forming at the corners of his mouth. Pulling his glove off with his teeth and throwing it to the side, he reached his hand to her again, offering himself fully. 

"Rey, join me." 

"Ben..." Rushing toward him, she grabbed his hand and pulled his massive body to her. The only thing that mattered to her was being close to him. Touching him, tasting him, feeling the relief her soul was longing for. 

Ben's emotions were swirling, one second crippled by fear, the next his body was on fire. The closer she came, the more his fragile heart swelled with hope.  

"Kiss me." she whispered.

Choked and unable to speak, he felt a tremor shake through him. Her drowzy eyes fixed on his pouty lips.

Wanting to cry, one hand gripped her neck as the other wrapped around her body, so tiny compared to him, never breaking her gaze. She felt him open up to her, could feel the euphoria and surge of confidence, and when his lips finally touched hers it felt like a vibration exploded from their bodies, rippling out, rattling the glass. She could sense he was aroused, the hardness between his legs swelling. 

Slightly awkward and skiddish from the contact, feeling a moment of anxiety, both of them let go. Eyes closed, lips barely touching, brushing, tingling. The kiss increased in pressure and intensity, both yielding. It was like a flood of fire and sunlight, darkness and lust. Tasting his mouth, feeling his tongue, feeling the wet heat, breathing his breath and knowing he had never been touched this way, or been touched by another human for years, made her want to give him everything. All of her. 

Grabbing his neck, she jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist, his arms shifting and supporting her without hesitation. There was no need for hope, that was for dreams and wishes. She was his, in his arms, connected through their minds and bodies. It was a feeling so foreign, he had never imagined it could exist, or he could be deserving. He had clung to the light for so long, enduring the mental abuse and manipulation of Snoke. Eventually he failed, believing they were right, becoming the monster, doing unthinkable things. But Rey, she had looked through all of it, saw _him_ as no other had ever done, loved him as a creature of the darkside and understanding his pull to the light. In turn he was transfixed, spellbound.

"Rey...Rey..." He murmured against her mouth as he worked his way down to her neck. Her head fell back, absorbing the pressure and sensation of his mouth against her skin, unable to form words. "I love you Rey, I have always loved you."

"Take me to the throne." She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing the delicate skin behind his ears, gently sucking on his earlobe. Carrying her, he walked toward the throne, shoving the corpse of Snoke out of the way with his mind. Gently setting her down, he stood over her, devouring her with his eyes. Rey reached forward, grabbing his hips and pulling forward. 

Falling to his knees, pouring out came a beast of man, devouring her. He was unhinged, biting and sucking her neck, making his way to her breasts. Tearing the layered fabric, tossing it to the side, he paused to look at her nakedness. Thoughtfully, his eyes moved over her, drinking in the sight. Penetrating her mind, she let out a gasp as she felt a gush of wetness between her legs. Weaving her fingers through his soft black hair, guiding his head, she felt the softness of his mouth kiss her nipples. Lost in the sensations, she was moaning softly. Kissing became sucking, harder and harder, while his other hand massaged and cupped her other breast. Intoxicated by the feeling of her skin against his face, the saltiness of her sweat, the beating of her heart pounding in his ears, and the feeling of his own heart tugging to match her rhythm. 

"Please....stand up..." Rey begged.

Standing, Ben swallowed hard as he removed his belt, dropping his saber to the floor, revealing himself to her. Drawing his breath through his teeth, he hissed as he felt her hand grab his cock, barely wrapping around it's girth, guiding it into her mouth. Driven by her desire, she sucked hard running her tongue over the head and down the shaft. Using her hand and head in unison, the slurping and sucking noises made his knees weak. Barely able to stand, he reached out grasping for the arms of the the throne to steady himself. Plunging her head down hard on his length, he felt the tip graze the back of her throat. Holding it there, she choked against it. Wanting him inside of her, on her skin, connected, moving as one. She could not push hard enough.

Abruptly pulling away, feeling himself tipping over the edge, he would not be able to hold back the flood of pleasure and release. So many times he had thought of her, sleepless nights alone in his bed, jerking off, bringing himself to that edge. Allowing himself to free fall into the pleasure and pain, longing for her to be there in the flesh. To touch her just one more time.

Running his thumb over her wet lips, he smiled at her. 

_I can take whatever I want_

_Do it_

Looming, casting a shadow over her body, his eyes deepened into a dark devilishly lusty stare. Pushing her back into the deep seat with his mind, she felt her pants shred and fall around her. Trembling, she felt the warm slithering, starting at her feet and gliding up her legs, invading and pushing them apart. Helpless and frightened by the intensity, she looked like a cornered animal, cowering. Driven by a dark place of passion and pleasure, he didn't seem to notice. It was a slow burning hunger, an unquenchable thirst.

Closing her eyes, calmly, she reached out, submitting to him with her mind. Feeling the force thicken as it squeezed inside of her, her abdomen expanded, muscles contracted, gripping his probing awareness. The more she pulled against it, the harder he pushed, exploring every inch of her pleasure, sensing the fluctuations, focusing in on the sweet spots that made her body quake. Undulating and spinning against her walls, discovering the secret spot of her ecstasy, his eyes narrowed and focused as the pressure began to grind into her. Breaching the crest, she unleashed the explosive pleasure into his energy, pushing his body back. Blinded by the burst of light, and deafened by the ringing in his ears, it was as if her soul was wrapped around his.Moaning uncontrollably, as if half conscious, her nails clawed at the stone as her back arched. 

Silently, he watched her body relax. Sensing her come down, he caught the sinking with his mind, holding her safely in a state of content and peace. 

There she sat, smooth tanned skin, tear drop shaped breasts pink from his mouth, and that strong flat stomach leading to the soft dark hair between her legs. He couldn't stop himself, and falling to his knees he grabbed her legs, pushing them up against her chest and guiding her knees open. The sight of her, the smell of her sex and glistening wetness, he was unable to restrain the urge to taste her. He lunged forward, making contact with the velvety softness. Scooping his tongue into her, exploring the heat and feeling her contract on his tongue from the pleasure, he was overwhelmed by the urge of his physical hunger to find the same spots he had reached with his mind.  

Sucking on her clit, his growls vibrated as his tongue flicked at a rapid pace. Sliding two fingers against her lips and following the natural pathway of her body into the tight opening, stretching and working her, he prepared her. Writhing against his face, her hips began to lift off the seat. Pushing her back down, he could feel the blissful torture flowing out of her. Sensing, he could feel the swell of pleasure build and ripple up from his mouth, through her abdomen and up her body, as she loudly cried out. Locking her hands on his head, smothering him, allowing herself to swim in the selfish pleasure and passion of the darkness. Gushing wetness into his mouth, her body continued to tense and quake. Letting go of his hair, he kissed her, and nuzzled his face into her throbbing sex. Kissing his way up her stomach, he ground his head into her chest as she shook uncontrollably, crushing her in his arms.

Chest heaving, sweat dripping down her torso, he could see the veil lift from her eyes. Alarmed, frightened, self conscious, she started to shift and squirm. Gently massaging her back, he tilted his head to look at her. 

 _Don't be afraid_   His eyes were concerned, longing, loving. Resting his body between her legs, he kissed her breasts, wiping the wetness from his face on to her chest, licking it off as he traveled to meet her mouth. Sighing, she could smell and taste herself, sucking it off his tongue, feeling the urgency begin to build again. Their kisses were hard and hungry, sucking, rolling, biting. As his tongue plunged into her mouth, so fluidly and deeply, she let out a groan against it, as she felt his rock hard cock slide inside. 

Slowly her rocked his hips, feeling her loosen, he couldn't stop gasping for breath. Pawing at his tunic, both of their hands fought to free him, shivering as his chest touched hers, the hard peaks of her nipples felt like two pearls. Grabbing, pinching, kneading, her hands explored him insatiably. Together, they moved her hips to the edge of the seat, pushing her legs against her chest. The strong muscles of his back flexed as he steadied himself on the throne, enabling him to push deeper. Quickening his pace, she could feel him abandon thought, each thrust becoming more and more violent, bordering on a tantrum or rage. Taking it in, she absorbed his anger and pain, returning it with love and light. 

"Ben." Weaving her fingers against his scalp, she pulled his head back with a snap. Feeling the thumping of their heartbeats, both in their chests and deep inside their loins, they paused to reset the pace. Guiding him to her seat, Rey straddled him, easing down on his bobbing glimmering shaft. Rolling her hips, she worked until she found the spot and rhythm she needed. Grabbing on to her ass, his huge hands pulled her apart as his hips bucked. The wet sounds of their bodies coming together, the feeling of his balls slapping, made her eyes roll back in her head. It was too real, too raw. 

"Please Ben, give it to me." She whined. 

Flipping her onto her back, he mounted her one last time. Thrusting, panting, moaning at the top his lungs, all she could say over and over was "give it to me....please". Paralyzed, his body tensed, his face reddening, the vein of his forehead popping out. Thick cum pumped up from the base, shooting a stream of hot liquid, pausing with each wave of pleasure, then squirting with amplified force. It went on and on, longer than she expected a man to climax. Hanging on to him, watching him cry and moan and subconsciously try to resist the beauty and pleasure he desperately deserved. Rey whispered _I love you, I love you, I love you._

 

 

 


	2. Coronation

Ben's eyes were glazed over like a black velvet curtain had lowered behind them. It was like his climax had not happened, or like a switch had been flipped off and then on again without pause, instantly hard and ready to continue. Her lips moved soundlessly and the world was in slow motion, feeling like he had stepped outside of himself. So real, he was watching from above, a large dark figure dwarfing this sacred glittering creature, devouring her. A wretched twisted shell of a man. A fallen angel. A monster.

 _I love you, I love you, I love you_.  She continued to call out to him as her body jerked upwards with every thrust of his hips.

Suspended, as if he had fallen into a still and glassy pool of warm comforting water. For the first time in Ben Solo's life, he finally knew peace. Connected physically and spiritually, she soothed his fractured soul, calmed the chaos and anger. Swimming in that placidity, he could feel the barriers melt away. Walls that he had fortified with every ounce of his force power, protecting him from the relentless assault of this world and beyond, collapsed with her three words. _I love you._

The vulnerability should have terrified him. There were moments he opened his eyes and felt the air being choked out him. Like a faint echo rapidly gaining volume he would hear her again, saying those three words. Words he thought he would never hear, or believe, or trust. This deeply intimate act, raw and open, was unraveling the years of rage and horror. Reaching the end of the metaphorical spool, he felt his cock erupt in another series of hot spurts.

Collapsing on top of her, tears streaming down both of their faces, his weight crushed her. Not seeming to care, he could feel her thin fingers massaging his head and combing through his hair. Lovingly caressing him, Again, she murmured against his skin, into his ear.

" I love you, Ben Solo, I have always loved you. I don't know how it can be true, but I have always known you, heard your voice in my dreams, you have always been a part of me." 

Letting the waves of pleasure roll, the tightness of her nether regions tugged against him with uncontrollable spasms and aftershocks of her climax. As if her body was starving for every ounce of love he felt. 

 _Rey...I have always been with you._ He could not explain it to her, what he saw, what he knew was true.

Time was precious. Pulling out, he felt the warmth of her body and wetness abruptly fade, turning painfully cold. Aching, all he wanted was to carry her to his quarters and have his way with her, fill her again and again until he had nothing left. Or take Snoke's escape craft and fly away to some obscure planet where they could be alone. Sensing the troopers approaching the doors, they had to act quickly. Pulling up his pants and grabbing the rest of his clothes, he dressed with haste.

Pulling her to her feet, he could not stop his eyes from looking her up and down. 

"My clothes are in shreds." 

"This will do....for now." His voice was low and calm. Wrapping her in his cape, he could see the surprise in her eyes, their green and gold flecks glowing against the blackness. "There will never be a day, for the rest of our lives, that I will not be by your side."

The doors to the throne room opened and a swarm of white figures poured into the room. From the back they could hear the shocked and dismayed voice of Hux.

"What happened!?"  

"The Supreme leader is dead."

"I can see that! What have you done?!" Hux was frantic.

"I have done nothing. The Supreme Leader had a tragic accident. Do you understand?" 

Rey could feel the energy in the room swell and vibrate as the red headed man's demeanor shifted. 

"Yesss.....yes. I understand. The Supreme Leader has had a tragic accident." Hux's face was devoid of emotion, his voice was monotone.

"I am the Supreme Leader now. You answer to me." Rising into the role, Ben was commanding and wickedly confident.

"Yes, long live the Supreme Leader." 

Raining fire and littered with corpses,the room was transformed from a slaughter and execution, to a coronation. Lifting her into his arms like his bride, he walked past the confused and spellbound general, as the sea of storm troopers parted to let them through. 

"That was a lovely trick." She said approvingly, while nuzzling her head into his chest. "Where are you taking me?"

"Where I should have taken you to begin with...to my bed." He said lasciviously. A subtle smile was growing. 

"Ben....I mean Supreme Leader..." She teased.

"Ben..." he replied softly. Affectionately. 

"Ben...and what happens if they come and break down our door?"She questioned with true concern. Rey's eyes had that wide-eyed innocence that he found mesmerizing and beautiful.

All he could do was shrug and smile. "Gods help the person who tries to interrupt me."

 


	3. The Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have probably already noticed that I love smut. I just can't help it! I love these 2 characters so much.

The storm troopers stood at attention as the new Supreme Leader lumbered by, carrying a woman. Unsuccessfully trying to conceal their astonishment and unable to pull themselves away from the sight. Their heads followed, continuing to watch until the hulking figure in black disappeared into the elevator.

Ben stood silently as they began their descent to his personal hangar. Not seeming the slightest bit fatigued, he held her against his chest. 

"Ben....is there something wrong?"

Two dark brown orbs, their depths seeming to go on for eternity, looked down at her with tenderness. Expressive eyes, older than his 30 plus years. 

"Let's not talk." He replied softly, like he was telling her a secret.

"Why?" Rey whispered back.

"If I talk we will never leave this elevator. It is taking every ounce of strength that I have to not press that button and take you right here. We have to leave this ship."

Rey started to laugh.

"What?" He didn't know whether to be amused or self conscious.

"All of this..." She shook her head in disbelief."How many more floors?"

Letting out a sigh of frustration, he kissed her forehead and looked forward. Deciding to let it be, she snuggled in closer, briefly closing her eyes. Melting into him, a wave of sadness washed over her.The body beneath the abrasive black fabric that was scratching her face, spent years desperately wanting to be touched and loved. She started to kiss his heart through his tunic, moving up to his neck where she lightly brushed her lips against his sweaty skin. Every spot she touched was uncharted, and even he had no idea how it would feel or how he would react. Out of the corner of her eye she could see his eyes flutter and roll back, chewing at his lips from restraint. 

"Grrrrrrrrrr." He growled. It was the only sound or expression he could make. Refusing to drop her, he continued to growl but wouldn't tell her to stop. Almost comical, the rumbling of his chest made her smile and giggle against him. 

 _Beep, beep._ The sounds of the elevator slowed as the they came to a merciful stop. The doors swished open to the immense hangar, abuzz with droids and personnel scurrying to evacuate.  Ben's patience was thin. Droids, storm troopers, pilots, were startled as they felt the sudden invisible push as he rushed past them. Once again he walked her up the ramp of his command shuttle and before she knew it they were flying through an ocean of glittering stars.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Stomping down the halls, Ben was barking commands at everyone and everything in his path. Already fearful of him, people and droids scattered as he stormed forward.

"MOVE!" The bass of his voice rumbled. Angry and full of sexual frustration, he was a mix of boiling temper and an odd playfulness. Determined, Ben Solo was a man who always finished what he started. Still carrying her, refusing to let her bare feet touch the floor, they finally arrived at the door to his personal quarters. To think that brooding Ben Solo had a sense of humor, slightly twisted but very endearing. 

Their banter was a wave of relief to those caught in their path. 

Pressed against the wall, two officers looked at each other, smiling, when they should have been afraid. It was quite a scene. At first glance, it could have been an abduction, but instead of thrashing or fighting him off, she was smiling and one might even believe laughing. Laughing? Had their ever been laughter? Only in the barracks and mess hall. Had their ever been love in the First Order? Of course, hidden in the shadows, in dark corners, and in the subtle quick longing looks between youthful recruits from across the room. 

"Ben, you can put me down now...." 

Pretending he did not hear, he held her firmly.

"NOOooope." He boomed. Lifting his long leg, his enormous booted foot kicked the control panel to open the door.

"You are so stubborn!" Rey let her head fall back and body go limp." Fine, take me inside....take me...wherever. I give up."

The mood of the corridor lightened, as the personnel began to snicker and smiles spread. Looking to both sides, Ben shot them an intense stare. Perking up and acting busy, they were shocked to see a small smile at the corners of his mouth. 

The lights gradually awakened as the door closed behind them, sealing them off from the chaos outside.  Rey curiously scanned the sparse rooms. Dark black surfaces mixed with grey and red, militaristic and sterile. These were not the living quarters of the deeply emotional man that she loved. Gently, he set her down. The cape unfurled, engulfing her petite body in a blanket of black, the hem gathering on the glassy black surface. Taking a few steps backwards, Ben felt the calm wash over him. Standing in the shadows, motionless, he stared at her. The playfulness was gone.

Processing the moment, that she was real flesh and blood and not a force projection or dream, a voice far away in his mind pulled at him, urging him to stop and to take his time. Everything: Snoke, the fight, the sex; it seemed to happen so fast. On the throne they were driven by impulse and urgent desire. Now it was quiet and he had the time to be deliberate. Ben knew it had been her first time, and humbly admitted to himself that it was his as well. Feeling a wave of regret, that he wished he had shown her how he loved her, he resolved that it was not over yet. 

Their deep breathing cut the silence. Raising his hand, the clasp of the cape released. 

Through their bond, Rey could feel the waves of emotion that swarmed his mind. Gripping the unfastened closure, she slowly slid the cape off her shoulders, letting it fall. The low vibration of his energy, like rumbling waves, enveloped her. Carefully stepping out of the pile of thick fabric, she walked toward him. Looking up into his eyes, the heat and wetness was growing between her legs, mixing with the remnants of his cum. Fixed on his full lips, she started to unfasten his clothes, her fingertips electrified by the thought of seeing him naked again. Helping, he pulled his tunic over his head, his muscles tensed and flexed, and she could not hide her awe. Smiling at her response, at the same desire he had seen from her before, but this time in the flesh. Running his fingers through his hair, he tried to smooth down his unruly glossy black locks. 

Bending down he found her full lips, ardently absorbing the feeling of the soft sweet flesh. Their lips fit like two perfectly cut pieces. Focusing on licking and pulling against her top lip, lightly biting in response, she pulled away and sucked on his pouty bottom. As his tongue opened her warm wet mouth, she gasped into him. She had unzipped his pants and tried to wrap her hand around his cock. On the throne she was so consumed with lust, she didn't truly examine it. Thicker than her hand could grasp, the skin was dry and silky and hot to the touch. Milking it slowly, she could feel his heartbeat through its throbbing veins. Knowing that he would soon be inside of her, that she would feel the pleasure and pain from his body unforgivingly stretching her open, she swooned.

Smiling against her lips, he pushed into her mouth again, exploring and savoring every sensation that he had rushed before. The feeling of her tongue, the soft texture and slip, how it slid against his, how her lips sucked on it when he pulled it out. Feeling a direct connection to the burning in his loins, it sent a ripple of unbounded thirst through his groin. It was like a string was being pulled from that throbbing, up through his chest and out the tip of  his tongue. Flowing back and forth, the kisses were deep and fluid. Neither leading, only responding, like two signals bouncing back and forth, singing to each other. 

Touching his face, as his head rolled with the flow of his tongue, she explored the bones of his face. Tracing her fingers down his long jaw, his stubble tickled her fingertips. Sliding her index finger into his mouth, without hesitation his lips wrapped around it as his eyes opened like a raging fire, sending tingles through her entire body. There was something arousing about it, putting something between them, making him kiss around it to get to her. Feeling the inside of his mouth with her fingers and her tongue at the same time.

Tired of leaning down, he lifted her up, wrapping her legs around him. Holding her bottom in his palms, the tip of his shaft pushed against the hot wet opening of her pussy, teasing her. Her arms wrapped around his neck and they both savored the feeling of being held. Walking slowly, he bypassed the bedroom, choosing to shower instead. 

Showering together felt like a cloudy dream. Engulfed in steam, they spent time caring for each other: the wounds, the sweat, the stickiness. On his knees he washed the remnants of blood from between her legs, kissing her there, dipping his tongue between her velvety soft lips, tasting the remnants of when he broke into her. Her mouth was so hungry, but he pushed her hands away. Feeling her aching, he reached up offering his fingers to soothe her. Moaning, she bit down, as her orgasm came on suddenly and powerfully. Unlike the bright euphoria in the throne room, her body was flooded with a delicious darkness that continued to grip her as the waves subsided. It felt like a pit, a lustful longing- insatiable. Almost falling down, she leaned back into the wall of the shower as he held her up with his shoulders.

Wrapped in a thick black robe and towels, Rey was impressed by the touches of luxury that the First Order provided. His bed, judging from the size, was a different matter. Clearly people did not share beds, and if they did Ben had never considered that he would. When he laid her down on the firm mattress, she realized that this was a bed he rarely laid on. Sleep had always eluded both of them. 

She was pleading with her mind. _Please keep me warm.....make love to me...._

A child of the desert, her body shook as the crisp filtered air touched her wet skin. Laying on top of her, his skin was still hot from the shower and underneath the surface Rey could feel the heat of his body like it was a furnace. Pulling the covers over them, his body blanketed her until the shivers subsided. Looking at every detail of her face, his finger tips traced every peak and valley. Brushing down the bridge of her nose, outlining her lips, smoothing across her soft cheeks, and gliding over her eyes, playing with her long eyelashes. 

He desperately wanted to heal her heartache, to fill the void dug from years of waiting for the impossible. To show her that she mattered, that the entire universe conspired to create her for him. This was the truth that he saw when they touched hands for the first time. He did see her past, felt her pain and suffering, but the force had shown him something else. Something he was not ready to share.

He saw himself as a young boy, crying in a hallway, his heart broken in two. The pain was so great, fighting so bravely to stay in the light. He was failing, falling prey to the voice in his head promising him freedom from the pain. Falling into despair, believing that the light and his life had betrayed and abandoned him, it summoned the ears of the cosmic force. From that death, from that broken piece, galaxies away, a life was created. The force burst into it, blooming into a beacon of light and love. Forged from that broken piece of his soul, through the love of the force, it was preserved as a gift, inside her.

That light was Rey. Her parents _didn't_ matter. Only together could they be complete. Only together could they become who they were meant to be.

The entire galaxy could implode on itself and he would never let her go. 

 

 

 


	4. I will protect you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't usually do this, but I am very deliberate in the music I listen to when I write. I know there is a spotify playlist for these characters by Disney, but these are the songs I listen to when writing this story. I think it is interesting to listen to some of this and read.  
> Sia-Helium  
> Andrea Day-Rise Up  
> Led Zeppelin-Tangerine, That's the way  
> Pandora channels: Enigima, Portishead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like what you have read, please leave me a kudo or message.

Rey had no idea how long she had been asleep. There was no sunlight, no windows to look out at the stars. There was no reason to wake up, none that was good enough to take her away from the feeling. Lulled by the hum of the ventilation, she was stuck in a half conscious haze. She felt like she was swimming, more like floating, not that she really knew what that felt like. She had only imagined it, daydreaming away so many sunsets as she waited on Jakku, thinking of all of the things she wanted to do before she died. Praying she would not end up in an unmarked grave, her rotting corpse lamenting the tragedy of her life.

But that was then and it felt like so long ago. A different lifetime? A different Rey?

Wrapped in a thick blanket, she was cocooned so tightly that she had hardly moved. Muscles aching, arm burning from the cut, the dread of moving was too great. Burrowing in deeper, she squeezed her eyes tight, reaching out with her senses. Breathing in deeply, the smell was-clean. Refined clean, not green like the abundant plants on Takodona, not salty and aquatic like Ahch-To. It couldn't be further from the sweat, salt, and grime of the desert. It was something she had never experienced. Not clean like fresh clothes, clean like blank, absent, nothing to attach memories to. 

Was this a dream?

Feeling a source of warmth, her instincts took over, and she burrowed deeper into the softness until she found it. Hard underneath, but soft on the surface. Alluring comfort, disguising the deep radiating heat- and the smell? Familiar. Soothing. Awakening. Clean skin on the surface, but like the deep heat there was an identity emerging. It was nothing like the sweaty beasts on Jakku; men and animals mixed with a stench of dishonesty and feral lust. No, this was far away. Musky, yet slightly sweet, with little spikes of wood. Masculine, but not offensive. A scent not overloaded by physical labor, just the pure resting scent of a man. 

Rey's eyes jolted open, rapidly scanning her surroundings like a frightened animal. Her body tensed so tight, she was ready to lash out, until his deep velvety voice vibrated into her skin.

"Rey-"

"Where am I?" She replied trying to disguise her fear.

"You are in my bed." He seemed mildly amused. Memories of the interrogation room ran through his mind. _A_ _creature in a mask? A creature, maybe, but a mask? No more._

The rush of memories hit her: the throne, the elevator, the shuttle, the shower-and the bed. The more she remembered, the more she began to feel the subtle discomfort between her legs. Why did she feel so empty? Because she could still _feel_ him, where he had been, and what they had done. At the same time she felt an energy, deep in her abdomen, that felt like bursting euphoria.She should have felt shy, self conscious, even embarrassed, but looking at him, meeting his eyes, any glimmer of those emotions was snuffed out. Everything she needed to know was right there.  

"You puzzle me." She spoke softly, timidly reaching out and touching his bare chest. Like the hut on Ahch-To, a single touch was loaded with so much more. Layer upon layer unfolding, blooming into a massive overwhelming flood of sex, emotion, and visions. She would have to learn how to control this or she would soon recoil from touching him, the sensation was too powerful.

"Why?" He seemed groggy. The energy around him was calm, luminous, like rippling water reflecting a silver moonlit sky. She had never seen him like this, but had she seen him so much? No, but somehow she knew that this was not normal. Somehow, she knew him so deeply. 

"I do not know if you are confident or don't care?"

"It is the later." He replied flatly. 

Rey dropped her eyes, looking at his chest. Feeling his long fingers touch her chin, she looked back at him. This was his truth, he believed in what he was doing. Had he been wrong yet? Yes, there with things he had done that were wrong, but with her, had he been wrong? Manipulated, yes, but wrong? Letting the sith, the jedi,the resistance, the first order, all of it, letting it all die and starting new, was it wrong? Could Ben Solo actually be the chosen one to bring the change that the galaxy needed? A murderer. A dark force user. The man that she cared for, that she loved. Why was she unashamed, willingly lost in him? Denying him was torture; it felt like something was holding her head 1 inch underwater, close to death, and all she had to do to breathe was to take his hand. The swirling thoughts were showing on her face.  

"You puzzle _me_." He was emphatic. 

"Ha! I am no puzzle. You said it yourself, I am nothing. I am nobody." Repeating his words still stung like salt in a fresh wound.

"Rey, that is not what I meant." He looked hurt, like he expected her to understand. 

"I want to hear you say it again." She was serious, fire burning behind her eyes. Waiting for him to respond, his eyes changed and so did his mouth, like he was compressing everything and failing.  

"I care what you think." He replied softly, unable to conceal his vulnerability. Reaching for her hand, he brushed his fingertips against hers. They had acted out their deepest desires, but this small act was so intimate, so loving, so open, that it was painfully beautiful and more difficult.

"And?" She was firm. 

He was breathless, struggling for the words. "And I want you to join me... Is that better?"

"And?" She pressed him further. Recognizing her question, his face softened and relaxed, like he was submitting to the answer.

"I love you." He responded with certainty, and confidence. 

"You are confident- when you have made up your mind." She had the same tone as she did when he brought her to Snoke, while they were alone in the elevator. _When she whispered I'll help you._

Looking at her with needy eyes, full of longing, he touched her face lightly with the back of his hand. Rey realized, as she searched his face, that he desperately needed to hear it too. 

"I love you, Ben Solo... I don't want you to hurt anymore."

"I don't want either of us to." He smiled warmly.

"What now?" Her voice was like a little girl, lost, scared. 

"Now?" He looked surprised. In truth, he had not thought ahead that far. Like his father, he was riding the wave of uncertainty, internally scrambling to make sense of what had happened. Yet, there was something exciting about the unknown. For years his only sense of purpose was to please his master, which he could see now was a twisted manipulative power play. Han was right, he was being used. _Han...father._ Han had practically delivered her to him, it could not be a coincidence. Desperate to feel needed, he wanted to offer her protection and comfort, and he knew he was the only one who could. 

Rey blushed. It was so much easier to be caught up in a savage and raw moment. This was different. She could tell that he was just as nervous, even hiding inexperience, but he was so strong, so much stronger than her. The only reason she was able to defeat him was because he was conflicted. He was stuck in his own head, in an endless loop of self loathing and hopelessness. But not anymore. Shedding the past uncovered the true force user that he was. Not jedi or sith, a new kind of power. 

 "Ben, I don't want to think about what is beyond that door. You know all of this, you know how it works. I am a nobody that only knows how to survive. I know nothing about ruling." Telling him her fears was nothing new and it felt completely natural. His understanding was relieving, and it felt like looking into a mirror. 

"Rey- _we_ will figure it out. I will help you. Maybe you will finally take up my offer and let me teach you." He was both comforting and arrogant. She would have to learn to accept that part of him, but that did not mean that she would not poke fun when it reared it's ugly head. 

"Do you ever contemplate using a little humility?"

"No." His face was impassive. 

"You see, this is what I mean! You really don't care what anybody thinks! Or just all the wrong people."

"Well, that person is dead. I killed him." He replied with cold directness. There was that touch of pleasure lacing his words, and Rey knew that there would always be a part of him that thrived on dominating and killing. It would always be there.

Rey pursed her lips and stared at him. "Yes, yes you did."

"AND, I did it to save you." 

"You don't know it yet, but you did it to save you too...and you would have never made it out of there alive without me."

"Maybe."

"And, you cannot deny that there is a part of you that loves to kill."

"Yes. Yes there is....and that is inside you too." 

"You never lie to me, do you?" She was both frustrated and embarrassed that he called her out over and over again on the things that she did not want to see.

"No. Should I?" Again, that double meaning, both innocently curious and knowing. 

"No." Her frustration was growing.

"I want us to trust each other. I do not want to end up laying in the snow slashed open again." He replied. A small smile growing at the corners of his mouth. Admitting his fear was not something he did often, but there it was and it made him surprisingly happy. Powerful, pure, glowing, Rey was the only thing in his life that had ever captivated him. Yes, he was terrified, and he loved every second. It made him feel alive again, not entombed.

"You are afraid of me?"

"Sometimes, but don't tell anybody." He was toying with her. "Rey, I have never attacked you unless it was out of self defense."

"No, but you took what was not yours to take."

"At the time, I had to. You are not the most cooperative person. " His tone was scolding."Besides, if I had not whisked you away from the forest, we would not be here now." 

Despite her frustration, she was calmed by the softening of his expression. There would be many disagreements to come, but for now she was tired and selfishly wanted to be be close to him.

"Ben, I don't want to talk anymore." Her voice was sad and distant. Scooting toward him, she nuzzled her head into him. "You took what was not yours, I am taking what is mine."

Ben's eyes grew big like a scared boy, and for a moment his huge body appeared to shrink. Rey held his head in her hands and looked at him. 

"Don't tell me that this little body could scare you?" She was challenging him and Ben Solo did not like to lose, but he was paralyzed. Completely shook by her. Chewing on his lips, he was bottling up again.

"Stop doing that. You have no reason to be afraid of me. If I am not afraid, why should you be? I have no idea what I am doing or what is right." Before he could respond she was kissing him, sweetly and softly, trying to disarm him. Slightly trembling, Ben looked at her in disbelief, overcome by the physical intimacy. 

"Rey, I- " He stumbled over his words.

"I know." She whispered against his lips reassuringly. "I am too....but I won't let it stop me and neither should you." 

Pulling her hard against him, Ben's thick arms wrapped around her tiny frame as he let out a strained sigh.

"I need you here with me...all of you."

Pressing back against her lips, the kiss deepened, and it began to dive into a dark place. Something in his energy was shifting, and the shell of the sweet scared boy was cracking open. Massaging her neck, his fingers felt like hot tentacles weaving into and under her skin. He wrapped his leg over her, and it felt like he was dragging them underwater, dark black water. Rey's heart began to pound and her breathing was frantic. Pulling away, she gasped for breath. He was pulling her down, down into a place she did not know she was ready to go. Eyes glistening, he gazed at her with the smokey sensuality that she saw on the throne. 

"Stay with me, I promise I will bring you back. I won't hurt you....please." He was murmuring, desperate, begging her to see all of him. "You cannot say you love me until you say yes."

Swallowing hard, she knew he was right. Rey closed her eyes and returned his embrace, melting into his mouth and body. Pulling on her hair, his teeth found and cut into her neck, sucking and pulling her deeper and darker. Rolling her on top of him, he pulled the blanket off revealing her nakedness. Looking her up and down, he drug his rough hands down the length of her body starting at her breasts and gliding to her ankles. She was pliable, responding, submitting and following his lead. Sitting up, chest against chest, he positioned her over his erection. Sucking in a quick breath, his hands caught the small of her back as she arched, feeling the rock hardness between her legs that was alive with blood and pulse. 

This was not the throne. This was not just raw and primal. Dark energy was engulfing them, mysterious and intoxicating, powerful and secretive. This was not the humming glow of the light, this was a throbbing, undulating, swirling abyss. It felt like each of her limbs was being sucked away from her, and a dark and dense lusty cloud was devouring her core. Darkness was rushing in between her legs, squeezing into her sex, up through her chest and out her mouth, flowing back into his. 

This was a love story. Dark and light dancing back and forth. Darkness giving birth to light, creating the spark and letting it free. The darkness kissing the edges of the explosive brightness, both expanding, blackness basking in the beauty, sucking the life and feeding it back again. Life and death, erupting light, extinguished by the consuming void. Over and over again. 

Ben could feel her body quake and taste her terror. Pressing his lips against her ear he began to whisper, to coax her through it.

"Rey....Rey....my Rey. Let go.....let go of your fear....let me in...let me show you." As he spoke he gently slid, ever so slowly, into the wet heat, the dark forbidden opening to her sex. Reflexively responding to the swell and squeeze, her muscles relaxed around the hardness, welcoming his body into hers. Cradling, his arms around her, he began to rock back and forth to ease the intensity. 

"Look at me." His hand grabbed her neck forcing her to meet his eyes. "Stay with me."

Rey's eyes were filled with tears ,but underneath was the smoldering remnant of the warrior from the fight. 

"I am right here." 

Hungerly, their mouths crushed together, sloppy and wet. Less kissing, more like searching, unable to get enough taste, touch, and skin on skin. She pushed down against him, grinding her hips painfully hard. With one hand on her back, and one on her stomach, he eased her backwards. Laying flat, knees bent, still connected, her hips still grinding into him. Groaning at the sight of her pussy spread open by his cock, Ben took a deep breath as he pushed until he bottomed out and she arched off the bed, crying out. Holding her hips down against her writhing, stretching his senses, he read into her thoughts. Feeling a surge of power and mastery, he went to work on her with complete self control.

Wanting to know all of her, he ran his fingers against her vaginal lips, spreading her open so he could see all of her, all of him. Sliding one finger in with his cock, he wanted to feel with his fingertips, feel her inside as he moved in and out. Grabbing on to her hips, he worked her against him in tortuously slow pumps. The tension was building inside her abdomen, like tuning the string of a violin, preparing for an exquisite song.Turning her head the side, she was loose in his hands, taking everything he was giving to her. 

Pulling her back up to his chest, he rolled them on to their sides. Lifting her leg up to his shoulder, he started to grind his hips slowly easing his engorged length in long strokes.  Rey felt her eyes begin to flutter and roll back into her head. The storm was growing, the thunder was pounding in her heart, the cyclone was gaining momentum, and the pleasure that was being fed into her was ready to crash down on to him. Feeling her lose control of her body, his fingertips grazed the tips of her hard nipples, his full lips sucked against her neck, and his fingers settled against her clit, rubbing vigorously until he felt her pleasure release into an electric burst.

"Uuuuuuuhhhg-" He groaned. Pulling out, he flipped her on to her back, pushing her legs to her chest. Holding her hands above her head, his fingers interlocked with hers. Beads of his sweat dripped on to her face. He felt her tongue run the length of his cheek, sending shivers down his spine. Forehead to forehead, they looked into each others eyes, feeling the push and pull of their bodies working into one. 

Again, the tension was rising, but this time it was in both of them. Opening his mind, she felt his consciousness wrap around hers, like being dragged down again, weighted and heavy. Instead of fighting, she unfurled into him, suspending them both in a state of bliss. 

"I don't want this to end....," He moaned into her mouth as he erupted, his seed rushing into her.

 

 

 

 


	5. Let me take the pain away

"Then don't let it end." Rey was panting, trying so hard to steady her breathing. Looking down, she watched his stomach tense and suck inward, opening up the space between their bodies. Pulling out, they both groaned at the discomfort. Reaching for one of the black towels, Ben wiped off his abdomen and using the same towel he reached between her legs. His movements were slow and deliberate, savoring the intimacy of caring for her. A reverent display of affection, every movement was thoughtful. As he cleaned her off, he planted soft kisses to her navel, her stomach, and her pelvic bones. Standing up, he towered over the bed, gloriously naked. 

"You are never self conscious, are you?"

"Should I be?" Looking at her with genuine confusion, he was a man that had spent his life more self conscious of his powers and emotions. Believing his body was merely a vessel, a tool, a weapon, it never crossed his mind to consider shame from nakedness. 

Rey crinkled her nose and watched him from the corner of her eye as he sauntered, naked, to the other room. Pulling the covers over herself, she smiled at the outline of her naked body against his sheet and allowed herself to give in to the sensations that were fluctuating from head to toe. Closing her eyes and breathing deeply, she could smell him all over her. Stretching her jaw, she felt the tightness and pull of his dried saliva, and the tenderness of her mouth. Running her fingers over her lips, she massaged the chapped skin, remembering the pressure of his lips and scraping of his stubble,and how his mouth was hot, hotter than she expected. He had left a physical impression, deep inside her womb, and now that he was in the other room she could fully feel the void he had left behind. Yet, she could still feel him, like the shadow of his body was hovering on top and inside of her. 

Carrying a pile of blankets, he emerged from the doorway, watching her as he walked. Rey let out a gasp as the sheet lifted off of her and fell to the side. It was the first time she heard him truly laugh, and it was so unexpected, it even made him stop and stare at her. Both wide-eyed, Rey held her response, hanging precariously, until they both let it out and laughter filled the room. 

Forgetting her modesty, she jumped up on the bed, holding her stomach, making him laugh more. Ben could not understand what was happening to him. Had she bewitched him with some sort of mind game? What was this forgotten emotion? The more that she laughed, the more he smiled, and the laughter fed itself between them. Walking to the edge of the bed, she lunged toward him. Laughing and kissing his hair, she hugged him tightly, absorbing the rumbling of his chest. Slapping her behind, he sat her back down on the bed. 

"Will you sit still for a minute. This bed is not big enough..." He tried to choke back the laugh, but it was in vain, and he quit trying to fight the expression of joy. He went to work laying out layer after layer of blankets on the floor, constructing a make-shift bed.

"Big enough for what?" Rey's giggles softened as she contemplated what he said. _Why does he need more space?_

"Come here-" His long arms stretched out for her waist, and in a flash she was laying on her back in a cloud of softness. Without warning, pillow after pillow pelted her and the giggling ensued. 

"Really?" Rey picked up one of the pillows and hit him with it. Looking over his shoulder, she could tell from his expression that he had accepted her challenge, as a pillow hit her against the head.

"Ooooo, Ben Solo....!" She gritted her teeth, ready to pounce. 

When suddenly she felt her arms pull above her head, unable to pull away. Surprised, she jerked her head to look at him, only to find his back to her. Taking a deep breath, he turned to face her. The laughter was gone, and his face transformed from an expression of joy, to lusty and hungry. So quickly his mood could flip, it was like he was in a constant battle to control his emotions urges, and while her presence gave him peace, he was insatiably attracted to her.

"Don't fight me." Smooth and low, his tone had that delicious edge, a tell for his darker, riskier cravings. 

Rey laid quiet, watching him bend down beside her, running his fingers up the length of her torso, circling her nipples, pulling and teasing them until they were pert and hard. Lightly slapping the the swell of her breasts, they began to turn pink and fill with blood. Sucking from underneath, she began to writhe under his hold. 

"Ben, what is this...?" She whispered apprehensively.

"Shhhhhh......" He replied as he pressed his fingers against her lips, never making eye contact. Continuing to work on her, Rey's breathing quickened, from fear, from pleasure, from the unbearable sensitivity that bordered on sweet pain. Ben was in complete control, taking what he wanted, and what he wanted was to take her even deeper, to challenge her. To free her. "Just relax."

Shifting and settling her body, she tried. 

"I can't get enough of you...I can't get deep enough." He spoke softly, as his fingertips traced the hard numbs. Leaning forward he wrapped his lips around her right nipple and sucked hard, making her squeek. Circling his tongue, he smiled, exposing his teeth, working it back and forth between their sharp edges.

"Yes....I feel the same."  She conceded with a deep moan. 

"Then let go." Though his voice was soft, it still had the command that he used on her so many times before.

"I thought I did?" She squirmed, averting her eyes. 

"Rey...noooooo." His eyes flickered, like they did when he knew she was lying, with that devilish stare.Tracing his thumb against her lower lip, he pulled downward, dragging the flesh with it. "What is it going to take?"

"I don't know? " Her voice was distant and distracted. It was the truth, there was always a part she held back, preserving it, making it wait. For what? For the family that was never going to return? Yes. A piece boxed up, locked tight, holding the last fragment of what she thought was hope,now realizing that instead it was filled with fear. 

"Rey, they are never coming back. Accept it, and let it go. I am here... I will always be here." 

Letting out a strained sigh, he lowered himself over her body. Laying on top of her, his weight wrapped around her. Stretching his arms, he slid his hands over hers, and looking down into her glistening eyes, their bond opened. Falling into a joined vision. 

 

_"Walk with me." Ben was reaching out his hand to her, their two cloaked figures walking toward a mound in the distance._

_Footprints in sand and scorching heat. The Jakku Desert._

_A baby laughing and cooing._

_Decaying bones. 2 bodies wrapped together. A grave._

_Crying. Screaming. Begging. Darkness. Loneliness. Fear._

_"Forgive me. I failed you."_

_"Let us go, Rey." Familiar voices, sad and remorseful, blurred faces fading away._

_"Go to him! The belonging you seek-" Desperation. Urgency._

_"Take my hand, Rey." Looking down, it was Ben's hand, Ben's voice guiding her. "Follow me. Don't be afraid. I feel it too..."_

_Kindness. Compassion._

_Enveloped with moist air. Again, looking down, watching waves licking at their feet. Salt spray and wet skin. Happiness. Peace._

_Creeping whispering mist, a magnetic pull, calling to them._

_The tree, the hole, the temple. Golden light streaming through the doorway._

_Looking forward._

_Facing, hands pressed together, as one._

_The ground shaking and cracking. A warning..._

_Save him...._

_Save her..._

_The truth and the light._

_Come together. It is the only way._

And as quickly as it came, the vision was gone, leaving Ben and Rey staring deeply into the other's eyes, rapidly blinking their way back to their reality. 

"How did you do that?" Rey was recoiling.

"I did not do it alone." His eyes darted back and forth, scanning her face.

Rey could read his fear and apprehension. He was afraid she would run, like she always had in the past, from the truth and the pain.

"Rey, don't run....please."

Closing her eyes, she began to breathe deeply, eyes rolling underneath her eyelids, believing she was fighting an internal battle that only she could see. Stroking her hair, he pressed his forehead against hers, letting his tears drop on to her cheeks. 

"I am sorry." His words were choked and strained, feeling her pain as if it was his own. Nudging his nose against hers, pushing her head back, he kissed her with such deep yearning, hoping he could show her how much he needed her, how he wished he could take her pain on to himself. How he desperately wished that his love was enough. "I will never allow anything to hurt you again."

"You are all that I have...all I have ever really had." Round, thick tears dropped out the sides of her eyes in a steady stream. Finn, the resistance, she cared for them deeply, but they did not understand what was inside of her. They would never accept that she loved him.

Reaching her arms around his neck and straining to find his mouth, she kissed him back, squeezing her eyes tightly. Dwarfing her face, his hands were strong and solid, holding her against him. Drawing it out of her, one kiss at a time, he absorbed the pain and sadness she was releasing, crushing it with his simmering anger fueled by the thought of anyone causing her such suffering. 

He loved her, and she loved him, in spite of all of their flaws, sins, and damage. They made love, slow, heartfelt love. Two broken people, giving everything they had left inside, to the other. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. While she sleeps

Filled with grey shadows, the room was dim, and the floor was cold and hard. Their makeshift bed of random blankets and pillows looked like an escape raft in a sea of liquid black. From above they looked like a painting, his white alabaster skin glowed in the darkness, while hers, golden and freckled, snaked around him, their bodies braided into one, twisted together with a black sheet. A dark knight, making love to his lady, lovingly caressing her, a human shield against the world around her.  Ben laid on his side with one arm tightly wrapped around her waist, wide awake, stroking her hair and watching her sleep. Feeling the light tickle of her exhale, Rey's face was snuggled against his bare chest.

 _Escape._   _Leave, give it all up. FInd an obscure planet and disappear...together._

Sweaty and smelling of sex, legs twisted together, her arms going this way and that, Rey was lulled by the calm rising and falling of his breathing. Guarding the beating of his heart protectively with her palm and her cheek melting into the smooth skin next to it, she looked so deceivingly innocent.

Petting her like a precious exotic stray,he was examining and memorizing every freckle, every pore of her skin, every expression of her unconsciousness. Holding onto him so tightly, he was touched deeply by her instinct to keep him close, both to protect and to ensure he would not leave her. She was so tiny in comparison to the hard and solid muscular denseness of his body, yet, this slight woman had more strength in her pinky than all of the women he had ever known, combined. And it was not just her force abilities, it was a bottomless source of survival and resolve. The only thing keeping her asleep was the security of the thump of his chest, and the moment he shifted position she would wake, he knew this and regarded it with care, remembering the flashes of a crying child screaming _come back_.

Dwarfing her hand with his, peeling it away from his skin, he gently kissed each of her fingertips, brushing them against his lips. Briefly allowing himself to contemplate their next moves, he was lost in the sensation of the surprising roughness of her skin against the tender flesh of his mouth. As if he was hypnotized, he continued to kiss and run them back and forth, thinking about how he would never allow her hands to be roughened by labor again, about how they would make this work, about how he was going to have to protect them both in the lions den of the first order. Time had stood still since they heard the door seal shut less than 24 hours before. The First Order was surely scrambling to make sense of what had happened, wondering when their new and terrifying leader would reappear. He would buy as much time as possible, to stay right there, in their warm nest, hidden away from it all. Just Ben and Rey.

Half asleep, Rey dug in deeper and moved closer to his face, pressing her lips against the fingers he held against his. Lazily, her eyes fluttered half open. Gliding down the small of her back, he cupped her buttocks, examining the softness. Holding his face in her hands, she rolled on top of him, sucking on his lips like stretching a rubber band, only to slowly release the tension, working and warming it until it was soft and pliable, unable to snap under the increasing pressure. She had that power over him, but the pureness of her soul did not understand how to manipulate, she only knew how to bring him closer to her, physically and spiritually. To push and pull him, the pain, anger, and confliction, into a stretched out, calmed version of himself.

Settling between her legs, he grazed his fingers back and forth, from front to back, in a rhythmic torturous pace, not particularly focusing on any spot, just wickedly teasing and curiously touching, while absorbing her physical responses. Ben had no sense of embarrassment or self consciousness, and it liberated her,it freed her to be who she was meant to be. She did not recoil from his advances or the extreme intimacy, he gave her the permission, albeit completely unintentional, to feel every sensation with complete abandon. He was just as inexperienced but held no fear, he was blindly driven by wanting to know her, all of her, and wasn't going to stop until he knew every inch, every nuance, every spot that gave her pleasure. 

Letting go of his mouth, her head dropped back as her eyes closed, giving into his lead, and falling back into a sweet sleep. Kissing her forehead, he smoothed her hair again, enjoying having the pure pleasure of holding her, smelling her, feeling her skin on his.

Allowing himself to be personally open and honest, he silently admitted that he had never loved anything in his entire life until now. Needed, yes, but loved? Han, Leia, Luke, he loved them as a family member should, but they had shut him out, succumbing to their fear of his strength and power. Cut off, alone, and angry, he rebelled the only way he knew how, and that anger was fueled and aided by a master manipulator. Feeling a sudden wave of shame, he knew Han was right...he was right. Snoke had masterfully used him. It was time to embrace his power, to fight for what was worth...everything. To save them both. Selfishly, he could have cared less about the galaxy and its salvation. It was only for her. Always and forever, for Rey. 


	7. Getting dressed Part 1

 

Laying on the bed was a variety of clothing, all black, meticulously pressed, masterfully designed and constructed. Ben stood watching her, his eyes like two black holes, deep in thought, transfixed by every movement. Rey slid the soft leggings up her legs, not sure how to react at the feeling of something so official and expensive, of course everything seemed luxurious to her. Turning to look at the options, her movements were timid and unsure. Feeling the slip of the soft glassy fabric, her fingertips danced from one piece to the next. 

Stepping forward, he took the undershirt from her hands, without saying a word reached down, kissing her softly he pulled her arms above her head. Catching her breath, she could feel the blood in her cheeks turn hot and throbbing in her veins quicken. Slowly sliding the stretchy material down, blotting out her sight, he stopped at eye level, holding her hands in place.

Rey recoiled at the surprise sensation of his fingers grazing the tips of her nipples, followed by his mouth between them, feeling like warm feathers tickling her skin. She could feel that his mind was being swallowed by something dark and dangerous, it was licking at the tips of his thoughts, while he was steadily maintaining his composure. There were moments that she could feel the shadow descend over him, like a dark veil, shrouding him in unpredictability. 

"I thought I was supposed to get dressed." She swallowed hard, licking her bottom lip.

Falling to his knees, he nuzzled his head into her stomach, gently massaging between her legs. Unable to stop himself, it was like he had lost all control of his actions, his mind being driven by some invisible force. Like a magnet, the pull was so great, he couldn't resist touching her, couldn't fight the primal instinct or the energy flowing out of him. 

"Ben," she whispered, "I have to figure out what to wear."

Pulling down the leggings, his mouth followed, stopping at her knees. The need to taste her usurped any plan, or task. Breathing in her scent, he began to kiss her between her legs, dipping his tongue inside of her, drawing out the wetness that was ever present for him. Looking up, he watched the hard muscles of her stomach contract and her breasts shift back and forth from her labored breathing. 

Pulling up the leggings, he stood, returning to the task of dressing her, tugging at the undershirt, ensuring its placement. Reaching for the black satin overcoat, he stepped behind her, guiding the sleeves up her arms. Reaching underneath, he skillfully buttoned the coat. Watching his long fingers manipulate the buttons, slowly and mindfully, Rey's head was swimming in a rolling wave of excitement and adoration.

Taking her hair in his hands, he delicately used his fingers to comb and smooth it. Replacing his fingers with a soft brush, Rey had never felt something so loving and relaxing. Nobody had ever shown her kindness, or care, in this way, or in any way. Rey's eyes fluttered beneath her lids, the feeling was so comforting, it was beyond her realm of understanding. Watching her melt into the strokes, caring for her was oddly pleasurable, puzzling him, but not enough to interrupt the fluid movements of the brush.

Sitting her on the bed, he crouched down, and slid on each black leather boot.

"This will have to do for now." He sounded displeased, scanning her up and down. They matched and it bothered him. 

Standing up, she looked into the mirror and processing the reflection, dressed from head to toe as a high ranking first order officer. Her first thought was that she was now the enemy, followed by admiration for the details, and then disbelief, feeling so out of place. Glancing back at him through her reflection, he could see her confusion. This wasn't her.

"Take it off." His voice was low and calm, disguising the explosive anger that was bursting through his head. 

Feeling him touch her shoulders, the coat swiftly fell off of her, his giant hands ripping it in half. Picking her up, her threw her onto the bed. Climbing on top of her,  Rey sat back, unafraid. Tearing at the clothing, he was overcome with emotion, clawing and biting at it. Joining in, she ripped at his shirt, tearing and shredding the thick fabric. The dry warmth of their soft skin making contact made both of them gasp out loud. Briefly pausing to meet her eyes, as if he was looking for permission, searching for a signal of fear, of anger, of repulsion. Instead, she met him with the same darkness, passion, and anger. Letting out a deep guttural moan as he slid inside of her, Ben's head dropped, as she dug her nails into his back. 

It was time to let old things die. Confused and sickened by what he saw, the symbol of his shame and guilt, his pain. This precious creature, this divine light, would not be tarnished by his sins. It was messy, feverish, and hungry. Thrusting again and again, he was lost in his head, lost in wanting to destroy the image of her in that uniform, lost in wanting to destroy it all. 

 

 

 


	8. The Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a break from writing for over a month, but I cannot get these two out of my head. I would love to know what you think. I hope you enjoy it.

Ben's full weight continued to sink into her her small frame. He labored to regain his breathing and control the involuntary shakes that quaked from head to toe. Rey was deep in thought, her fingers weaving and pulling through his messy hair, sensing and feeling, soothing the waves of chaotic emotions that that crashed inside of him. The energy reminded her of the sudden and violently powerful sandstorms on Jakku, storms that would black out the sun. She had never thought of the blistering desert sun and blue skies as happy, until without warning the wind would transform from mild and calm to deep rumbling gusts, sending every living creature scattering to find shelter. As a child she would huddle in a corner of her AT AT, squeezing her eyes tight and covering her ears, desperately trying to drown out the sounds of the screaming winds, flinching from the banging of debris that struck the surfaces of her shelter. 

Desperate, paralyzed with terror, falling into the grip of powerlessness, the sounds coming out of her were of a wild animal. 

She would cry and scream with the storm; with it, at it, in spite of it. Until there was nothing left, just her mouth soundlessly open. Years later she would sit in the same corner, calmly staring forward, surrendering to the chaos and power, allowing her mind to flow with it, letting her fear melt away by telling the universe that she was one with it's will. It was always the same, the sand would ebb and flow with the storm, and when the sun would break through the clearing, the dunes would be smooth and rippled as before. 

Rey was no longer afraid of the storms, or the storm within him. 

Tilting his head to meet her eyes, he searched her expression mournfully, filled with shame.

"Rey-"

"Shhhhh...." returning his gaze she was lovingly serious, until his eyes sparkled with welling tears.

His thick arms, muscles hardened from years of self loathing disguised as training, slid under and around her, pulling tightly against his sweaty hot skin. She could feel his pulse on the surface of his skin, hear it in her ears, as he released a flood of darkness and tears. Like the desert storms, he let it wash over her, through her, and while it did not hurt, it left her changed like the sand. Still beautiful and glistening from the blinding jakku sun, but transformed. 

This was how it would always be, this push and pull, ebb and flow, eternally bound. 

"How can you love what I have shown you?" 

"How could I not?"

She spoke with such solid truth, it confused him totally.

"Rey-I am not a man that can be loved."

"But you are loved."

He shook his head, his hair grazing her stomach sending an electric tingle up her chest. 

"You do not believe you are worthy of love, but you are. You told me to let the past die, take your own advice." 

Without pause, his mouth covered hers again, and again she gave into the hungry mournful searching of his tongue, his lips, and his mind. Spreading her legs, she reached down guiding his cock against her wetness, pulling him inside again. It was like being in the calm center of a cyclone, all of the raging thoughts suspended, timelessly staring into each other. 

Struggling to find the words, Ben managed to speak slowly, "Rey...Why can't I....why is it like this...." letting out a groan he felt his body involuntarily stretch deeply into her, like he was unraveling and expanding through her, around her, rapidly and uncontrollably accelerating.

Rey's eyes widened from surprise, swallowing hard trying to contain the unpredictable rush of pleasure, she gasped out, "I don't know, but don't stop. I want to stay right here...right here forever."

It felt like a thundering scorching heat, a rushing current of electricity. Like being torn open to a beating throbbing energy full of light and wrapped in a cape of blackness. His body continued to flow into her, giving her his consuming hunger, tapping into an inexplicable and endless source of multiplying love and acceptance. Rey could feel it pulling from her, drawing it out like the endless black vacuum in space. 

The pleasure was so intense it bordered on pain, and as he recognized it, the curtain began to fall behind his eyes again, and she could feel his body and mind release from it's restraint. His thrusts were so powerful, it felt like he was grinding her into dust. Meeting him with the same strength and uninhibited desire, it felt like claws piercing and digging into every inch of their bodies, like sharing each of their senses, sharing their blood. Like driving toward a climax that would never satiate them, both wanting to stay in that state of heightened euphoria for eternity.

There was an eerie creeping energy that had begun to float through their surroundings, seeping out into the corridors of the ship. The personnel began to glance back and forth, sensing the ominous mood. The storm was gathering strength and momentum, and while their enemies were plotting to overthrow them, something so supernatural and inconceivable, something the universe had never seen and could never thwart, was being cultivated behind their closed door. 

 

 

 


	9. Planning the seeds of elimination

"You are worried."

"hmmm?"

"I can feel it, you are worried. You are afraid that you are putting me in danger by keeping me here."

Ben closed his eyes tightly and took a deep breath.

"Yes. I am." He spoke softly against her forehead and into her hair.

"What are we going to do? Should I leave?"

"No."

"But if I leave there is no conflict."

"I will not let you leave. Never again. You belong with me."

Rey bit down on her lower lip and tried to swallow the rising tension from her stomach. It felt like his skin and touch were feeding her life. The thought of being apart was inconceivable-but the time had come to make some sort of move. They could not stay in his quarters forever. Her instinct was to run, to leave while he slept to try to protect him.

"Don't even try." Ben's voice was calm.

"Get out of my head."

"It's not like I am trying. It makes me happy that you are not hiding from me anymore. I want to know what is going on in your head...because most of the time you do not." Before he could buffer his words she was winding up to lash out at him. Placing his fingers against her lips he quieted her," Always ready to fight, huh? Always reacting, never thinking. Go ahead and be mad, it is the truth. Running will make no difference."

Pushing his hand away, Rey sat up on her elbows, pulling away from his sweaty arms.

"Let's leave. Go so far away that they will never find us. We can go to the island...only we know of it. They will never find us." she was speaking fast, almost breathless,"Ben, it will be just us....let the galaxy figure it out."

Looking down, waves of sadness washed over him. There was nothing he wanted more, but he knew there was no way out. The first order would find them, somehow, it was inevitable. They would never be safe and if they wanted a future, there was work to be done. They would have to end it all, or rule, together.

"Ben, there has to be another way. There has to be!" Rey could not hold back the deep guttural sobs that choked her words," All...all I ever wanted....was to belong to some one...to matter....and now that I have it...we can't be free!. I don't care about power...or ruling...or saving anybody but you and me. We need to leave. Now!"

Silently, he pulled her back against his chest. Stroking her hair and whispering into her ear, he tried to soothe her outburst. He whispered things about loving her, about loving her freckles and the way she crinkled her nose. He whispered that he loved to to be close to her, to feel her, to taste her. He whispered that every waking moment he was not inside of her was agony. Taking her fingers and running them over his face to his collar bone, he told her the he loved his scar because she would always be with him. He whispered to her that he would destroy it all if it was the only way they could be together. He whispered that he had never loved and the only thing he could ever love as much was what they created together-their family.

The more he spoke the harder she cried, and the more urgent and heated his voice became. Kissing his way from her ear, his lips caught her tears as the fell out of the corner of her eye. It was all the pure truth.

 "Marry me, Rey. Be my Empress."

"Ben....no."

"No?"

"I don't want to be an Empress. I want peace....with you."

"Together we can bring peace to the galaxy.....we can create the peace we need in order to ensure our future."

"Just kill Hux and leave."

"It's not that simple."

"What do we do?"

"We wait and observe. We move forward with the coronation....and our wedding."

"I don't need a wedding to belong you."

"No, but the first order does....and so does the galaxy. You will be the most beloved ruler in history and I will be by your side. Hux will wither away or be exposed.We will find the way to cleanse and eliminate anything in our way."

 

 

 

 


	10. slipping away

"Ben, wake up." Rey stroked his forehead. "Wake up, my love."

Now that he could finally sleep, it was hard to wake him. Stretching and non verbally protesting, he began to lift his heavy eye lids.

"Rey, what is it? How long have I been asleep?" His arms were already reaching for her, attempting to pull her closer.

"Ben.....I need you to wake up."

"Noooo..." He whined playfully. For a moment she could see the boyish face before the pain and before the darkness.

"Yes! Ben Solo! Wake up and look at me!" She was shaking him.

Ben's eyes snapped open and he was fully alert.

"What? what is it?" He was trying to stay calm, reaching out to sense their surroundings to detect any danger.

"We have to leave. Get dressed and pack a bag." Rey spoke quietly. Whenever she spoke to him there was a different tone to her voice, a kindness and care that she never knew she had. 

"Rey, what are you talking about? Are you confused? We are not leaving." He tried to roll over and pull the blankets over his head in protest.

"Yes we are. Now get up!" She was done coaxing and began shaking him.

Sitting up, he watched her quickly move around the room. She was dressed in the clothing he provided her, and as he expected she had already modified it to make it her own. He was baffled that she was commanding that he follow her, stunned actually. When she turned and shot him a deeply disapproving glance, he scrambled out of bed. Standing naked, he continued to stretch and moan from his aching body. Rey could hear his joints pop and snap.

"You sound like you are 100 years old." She said smiling, as she threw his black tunic into his chest. Noticing that he was fully awake in the masculine sense, she flushed .

"There is no time for that." After everything they had done, now that she was dressed and thinking of other things, his nakedness made her nervous and shy.

"Time for what?" He said feigning innocence and remaining motionless. He truly was a work of art, even with all of his scars, like he had been chiseled out of alabaster. She wanted to touch him, to climb right back into bed, but she was determined to get off of the ship.

"Ben...it won't work. We are leaving. I am taking you somewhere....special. I promise we will not be gone long. But this is something that I have to do...WE have to do."

"Alright. If this is what you really want. Are you going to tell me what this is about, where we are going?" He remained firmly planted in the same spot, not out of defiance, but from the need to be pragmatic. 

"Yes, after you get moving....and pack for rain...and cold...and survival." She was short. Clearly her patience was wearing thin.

He raised his eyebrows as she continued to move around him. How she found his closet and was able to access it baffled him. _A scavenger indeed._

"I can do that-"

"Get dressed. You can take over when you are ready." She replied, cutting him off.

"Rey," he said placing his hand on hers. "Slow down. There is no reason to rush. I am coming with you."

Exhaling a deep sigh, her shoulders relaxed. "I guess I wanted to move as fast as I could so you would not have time to say no."

"Why would I say no?"

"Because....because.....well, you are the Supreme Leader, Emperor of the Galaxy. Why would you listen to me...I am nobody."

"Here we go again....Rey, I love you. Tell me where we are going and how long we will be gone?" Placing his hands on her shoulders,he had that hypnotic intensity and calm voice that he had used in the throne room.

"We are going to the island. Alone. And we will stay until you want to come back." She replied pulling away from him. 

"I see." He started to help her by neatly placing his belongings into a travel bag. Pulling the fresh tunic over his head, he decided not to shower. He liked that he could still smell her on his skin. Quickly pulling on his pants and boots, he smoothed his hair as much as he could.

He contemplated the consequences for leaving without notice and the amount of damage Hux could create in his absence. His position was precarious and a coup was highly probable. The sooner he was officially coronated and they were married in a grand spectacle, the sooner he could guarantee their safety. She was so adamant, he could feel the energy pulsing around her.

"We will have to take your ship....mine... I mean...," She stammered.

"Yours? You mean that hunk of junk?" He smiled wryly. The thought of the Falcon made his skin crawl.

"Ben....that is unfair. It is the only thing I have ever truly owned. It means so much to-"

"Enough. I am not ready to discuss that yet. Maybe soon, but not now." He was serious and stern, but not unkind. _Owned? Had Han given her the keys?_ He bushed the thought away. It didn't matter. "We will have to be careful, I am sure that my shuttle has a hidden tracker. We need to move quickly. We will need to be escorted."

Opening the door to the front room, two ominous forms entered. Were these the Knights he had been speaking of?

"Take us to the hangar. And call ahead to have it prepared for a long journey. I will need every supply necessary. I want all tracking disabled and a full scan completed for anything installed without my permission. In my absence you and the others are to guard my door, as if I am still here. All communications will go through you. I want Hux surveilled and a report on him daily. I will not be gone long...a few days.. a week at the most." He spoke to them with a familiarity that she had not seen him share with anyone but her.

Grabbing their bags, she could sense the danger lurking around them, nothing imminent, but still there. Time was running out.

He was correct, the ship had been infected by Hux's disloyalty. Three tracking devices were quickly removed and a full wipe of the main computers was completed before they boarded.

"Do you trust them? Whomever they are."

"With my life."

Rey keyed in the coordinates as the menacing black winged ship eased out of the hanger and gracefully cleared the check point. There was only one as this was his private hangar, and the Knights had made it possible to slip away unnoticed. It was the first time she saw him pilot a ship and for some reason it made her hair stand up. He had never looked so natural and content.

He eased the ship into light speed launching them toward the island of Ahch-To.


	11. We are not alone

Coming out of light speed and entering the atmosphere of Ahch-To, the windows of the ship were flooded with blinding white sunlight. Ben blinked his eyes rapidly trying to stop his eyes from watering. Accustomed to darkness and artificial light, it had been too long since he had seen the light on any planet with his human eyes.

Rey watched his reactions closely, wondering how he would feel once they landed. For the most part he looked focused, concentrating on bringing the ship in for a smooth landing. Coming in on uncharted waters and land, the ship scanned the area searching for the island. Once it was identified, Ben did several low passes to give the system time to do a full read of their surroundings.

To both of their surprise, the spot most suited for landing was already filled. Waiting for her was her piece of junk, as he called it. Rey let out a quiet gasp of surprise when she saw the grey and rusty ship come into view and he didn't ask if she knew it would be waiting for her. Skillfully lowering the massive and menacing black vessel on to the rocky surface, Ben took a deep breath and sighed.

"So, sweetheart, this is where you wanted to bring us?" His voice had a tinge of sarcasm, using the term of endearment his father reserved for his mother.

"Yes." Rey was quiet, knowing that she was treading on dangerous ground. The Falcon, Luke's hut, the temple, all of it could cause a terrible turn between them; but that was not why she had brought him. "Before you pass judgement, please give me a chance to explain-"

"No."

"No?"

"No. There is no need to explain." He said turning to face her. "The ocean, the island.... I have seen it all before."

Rey looked at him cautiously.

"You don't remember? I do. I have carried the vision with me...from your mind." His eyes had that seeking expression and held the same strange satisfaction when he probed her mind. He had warned her that he took no pleasure in taking it from her, but it was a half truth. Curiosity about her was a craving and as he unfolded the layers of her mind unwillingly, he was captivated. From that moment on she had been nothing more than a series of miracles and mysteries in his eyes, and frustrations.

"I see. Yes, I do remember...and I remember your fear." Rey returned his sarcasm.

"I am afraid, I can't hide it from you...and no, I do not know how I will respond, but I will try. For you. Just you." His expression and tone softened.

Rey blushed, remembering when their bond had opened;recalling the overwhelming and confusing feelings of relief to look into his eyes, and then anger and venom when she pulled out her blaster. Confused that he didn't have an ounce of anger towards her, for slashing him open and leaving him for dead, or for seeking out and finding Luke; he was more interested in how and why it was happening, spellbound that he could only see just her. He had that intense gaze even then, and in retrospect it occurred to her that he had always looked at her like that, like he knew more than he was letting on, that he knew her better than she knew herself somehow?

"This place, I have always known it. In my dreams and then when I finally found Luke."

"Rey, it would be best if we do not mention his name."

"Ben, there is no avoiding it. We would not be here....we would not be together if it was not for him. Do you understand that? Because I do." Rey watched his emotions and thoughts process.

_Yes, it was a much larger plan. I can see that now. Snoke wanted Luke, but the force wanted me to find Rey._

"What was that?" Rey thought she heard him speak.

"Nothing, just thinking. Trying to make sense of all of this." He still had the ability to shield some of his thoughts from her and would continue to do so until he had time to reflect.

"We need to find shelter and unpack some things. You have choices....we can sleep here on your ship, in the hunk of junk, or in one of the huts?" She crinkled her nose and face, bracing for his anger, but he smiled instead. That expression had a way of disarming him. 

"Take me to where we touched." His replied unable to conceal his hunger for her, but doing a reasonable job keeping it a bay. 

"I have to warn you, we are not alone....and can you please stop looking at me like that all the time....I just don't know how to respond." Her cheeks flushed again.

Ben threw his head back and laughed at her.

"Why are you laughing?!" Rey was flustered and couldn't stop herself from punching him in the chest, hiding the fact that it hurt her hand.

"I have to remember that there is a part of you that is still such a girl. Do you not remember the throne...the last week?"

"I am not talking about that right now..... back to the fact that we are not alone!"

He decided to leave it be.

"You mean Chewie?" Ben knew that that moment of reckoning was coming, he just didn't think it would be like this and so soon.

"Well, yes, I assume he is here.....I didn't think of that." She stopped and pondered how that could potentially play out. "No, I meant that there are creatures that live here...they are caretakers. They don't care for me much.....I guess I did not make a good impression after I blew a hole in one of their huts and cut a boulder in half. I promise it was all by accident."

"You? How could anybody not like you?" Ben laughed.

"Funny. Well, I will let you ask them...if you can get over that they are fish creatures dressed as nuns."

Ben's eyes widened.

"Fish nuns?"

"Just trust me, and don't stare."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	12. The Keepers

_New visitors_ Alcida-Auka thought to herself as she watched the large black space boat land. Thinking it looked odd, like a big black bird with red eyes, she contemplated if this visitor would be as curious as the one before. Would it be kind or bring the fire and darkness she had learned of from her mother's songs that were passed down for thousands of years that told the story of the Lanai and the island?

It had only been a few weeks since she found the Curious One's robes on the rock, having disappeared either in the water below or vanished into the light beyond, and ensured that it was cleaned, folded, and placed with his other belongings in the repository. This was part of their purpose, preserving and maintaining their rich history.There were many things in the repository, items that many visitors in the past had taken, and some had returned. Some had left their treasures in the safe keeping of the Lanai, each hoping that they would be the last to know of the sacred place's existence. But, as with with all of these strange creatures, more would come, even after long periods of time.

The Lanai had finished the repairs from the destruction of the curious one's rude student, the one he called his niece. The destroyed hut was rebuilt, along with the lightning rod and mossy overgrowth. Winter was arriving and the vast stone steps had been swept clean of the light dusting of snow that fallen that morning. Alcida-Auka made a mental note to check the fire wood reserves. This new visitor would probably need it.

 

The sunlight was warm but the air was bitter cold, full of moisture from the ocean spray and humidity. They would need to go back to the shuttle to get more supplies to adjust for the change in season. Rey had only known the island to be rainy or sunny, she was not accustomed to or expecting the frigid temperature. 

" We will need to start a fire and set up our camp, unless you want to go back down to the ship?" She swallowed hard, worrying that this had all been a big mistake.

"No. This is OK. Keep going." Ben seemed indifferent. He was introspective and not giving off any indication of what was brewing inside, which made Rey slightly uncomfortable. Rey continued to climb the slippery steps that were slick from a thin layer of ice.

"Are you sure? Really, we could just go back. We can come up here tomorrow...leave our stuff below." Rey spoke as she continued to move forward, breathing heavy from hauling their heavy bags.

"Let me take those, it is slippery."

Shooting him a sharp glance, she realized that her words were lost on him. Handing over the bags, her muscles stung from the relief, and for once she let down her facade of independence. Sighing under her breath, she pushed forward up the treacherous path.

Reaching the top, Rey was amazed to see that the damage and destruction of her last visit had been completely repaired in such a short time. As usual, the keepers, acknowledging her with suspicion and disdain, continued on with their work as if they were not there.

"Well that's not surprising." Rey mumbled under her breath, clearly annoyed by the less than warm welcome.

"You were right, they don't like you." Ben was amused, until he noticed that one of the creatures which seemed to be the leader was staring him up and down. The smile faded from his face and his eyes took on a distant deep stare. For a moment, man and creature beheld one another, sharing some strange connection that Rey was not privy to. Alcida-Auka looked back at her broom and continued to sweep.

"What was that about?" Rey asked dumbfounded.

"It was nothing. Do not worry, I have a good feeling we are quite welcome here."

"Come on, I am freezing." Rolling her eyes, Rey mumbled under her breath as she stomped forward toward the hut. There was still so much she had to learn about him, about his strength and abilities.

A new door had been fashioned in place of the curtain she had hung for privacy, and there was a trail of smoke rising from the small hole in the roof. Pushing open the crude door, they felt a rush of warmth and the scent of burnt wood and herbs. Looking around the small room, there were plants hung from the ceiling, dehydrating from the dry warmth. Stepping closer she could see small white and red flowers, long green leaves, and even prickly thin branches, carefully tied into bundles. Maybe it was decoration, used to fragrance the still drying mortar, or it could have been for medicinal purposes, regardless, it made the hut smell welcoming and more like a home.

In the center of the room sat the stools and the fire ring that contained a small fire and a large bed of coals, and behind it the stone slab bed had been rebuilt. It was now larger and covered with hand woven blankets, and what looked like a thick pad as a mattress, probably filled with discarded bird feathers. The small square windows let in just enough light to illuminate the space, but as the skies were turning grey, the dark brown stones deepened with the shadows of the rolling clouds.

"Peculiar, it's like they were expecting someone." Rey said as she helped Ben set down their bags.

"I am going down to get the rest of our things." He said kissing her forehead.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?"

"No. You stay here and rest. I will be back shortly."

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, she could feel the air swish out of the mattress pad. Something about the room made her drowzy and calm. Falling backwards into the mound of blankets, Rey closed her eyes and allowed herself to finally relax and breathe.

Slowly opening her eyes, Rey nuzzled into the warmth of his chest. Covered in his black cape, she could have almost sworn that she was in her AT-AT on Jakku.

"Luke...where is he?" Ben spoke softly with the same distant tone that had overcome him since their arrival. Sitting up on her elbows, she looked into his eyes.

"Luke is gone. Didn't you know? I thought you knew....that you had felt it?"

Ben closed his eyes, squeezing them tightly. "Why would I have felt that?"

"Uhhhh....I mean...I don't know....I figured that if I had felt it you surely had?" Rey searched his face. "Ben....please Ben...don't be mad at me. I didn't know."

Laying still, she could see the blood pumping in the veins on his forehead and the strained rise and fall of his chest.

"Ben....please....tell me what you are thinking. I can't sense you....you have closed yourself off from me. Please-"

"Rey, do you have any idea how difficult this is for me?" He was struggling to find the words while keeping the dark raging anger concealed.

"Well, did you think I would bring you here if I knew Luke was here? Really?" Rey pleaded.

Pausing, a minute passed before he responded.

"No, because that would make you cruel or stupid, or both." The anger was simmering in his voice and his words were cutting.

"Ben, that is not fair. I don't know who you are right now?" Rey's eyes were filling with tears.

"Rey, my uncle, the falcon, and this place...this...PLACE...." He was struggling, and failing, to control himself.

"Ben, it's going to be alright. I didn't know, truly. I would never bring you here to hurt you. I would never hurt you....never." Her voice diminished to an imploring whisper.

"I want to believe that."

"But all you have ever known is betrayal, I know. I won't....I know you are not a monster" Her words were simple and direct, filled with truth and love. Ben looked at her with disbelief. How could she know that memory? How much had she seen this in his mind?

"Oh, but I am. The worst kind of monster." He replied filled with self loathing.

"No...no you are not. Not to me." Placing her hands on his face she lightly kissed him, hoping to dampen the rising anger.

Ben closed his eyes and let her touch soothe him. She was the only person who had that ability, to take the edge off and calm him no matter how out of control he had become. When he was angry she felt like a brick wall, stopping him cold. Laying his head on her, he gave in to his confusion and despair, letting the feeling of her fingers stroking his skin lull him to sleep. All he wanted to do was disappear and be nobody, to forget everything but her.

 After she was sure that he had fallen into a deep sleep, Rey pulled herself away from his sweaty body. Still dressed in his tunic and pants, she struggled to pull off his heavy boots. Pushing his long muscular legs back onto the bed, she covered him with his cape and placed a pillow under his head. Reaching out for her, she placed another between his arms and quietly watched until he had regained his steady breathing.

Slipping out the door and into the gusting wind and darkness, she made her way down to the falcon guided by the small orange fire beneath the cockpit. She was relieved to see Chewbacca, turning a makeshift spit and cooking a large fish, shooing away several of the porgs that had taken a liking to his broad shoulders and thick fur.

"Chewie!" She greeted him by running and throwing her arms around his neck. Oh, that feeling of belonging, of safety, of love. Chewbacca had taken her in after Han's death and their connection was undeniably strong. Chewie had made a silent promise to always look after her, to protect her.

"Chewie, I am so happy to see you. How did you know I would be here?" Her voice trailed off as her eyes shifted to the menacing shadow of Kylo Ren's command shuttle. Letting out a small growl of acknowledgement, Chewie looked sadly at the ground. Crouching down in front of the wookie, rey spoke softly," Chewie. I know... I know you still hurt...we both hurt...but Chewie..you are never going to believe it...but Ben, he is here, with me."

Chewie roared in protest.

"No, no. It's not what you think.....I love him....and he loves me. I know it doesn't make any sense...but it is true."

Patting her head, she saw the watery tears fill his eyes.

"I know, the moment is coming when you will see him....you have to promise me you will not hurt him-" Interrupted by his growls of protest, she tried to calm him. "Alright, alright, calm down, please. You know that Han would have wanted you to look after him.....no matter what he had done. You have to know that?" She searched his eyes looking for a glimmer of forgiveness. She could only see the pain and sadness  in his big watery eyes. Throwing her head into him, Rey's eyes welled with tears too. To see the wookie's pain was agonizing. She could not imagine how his life had been since Han had died. She knew all about loneliness, but the last few weeks had taught her about loss.

"Chewie, you have to try. You have to give him a chance. Han would have wanted it. Promise you will not hurt him."

She stayed with him for a while, enjoying the warmth of his fur and the fire. Being near the falcon was the closest thing she had ever had to a home, and Chewbacca a family, until Ben. Now she was tasked with trying to get them to reconcile, if Chewie didn't tear Ben in half.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	13. A mother's wish

He was gone. She would never hear his voice again. Feel his warmth. Tolerate his terrible humor. Smell his skin.

It was true. He wasn't coming back.

She caught herself believing, for a split second, that he was across the galaxy, somewhere, still getting into trouble. All of those years apart she had always known he was alive, somehow she could sense his beating heart and the ripples of sadness that he had buried away. She could sense when he was thinking of her and hear him saying he loved her. In those moments when she was truly alone she was haunted by the echos of their past; of the laughter of their little family, and the tears, oh so many hours of tears and agony, of anguish over a boy lost and their failure as his parents. They had failed to protect him, it was their only job other than to love him. They failed.

But it wasn't all bad. No, it wasn't. It was good, really good. So many happy times together. Vacations at the river lands of Naboo at her mother's palace, peaceful times when the war was over, as a little family. Swimming with baby Ben in the big lake, his black hair sticking to his chubby face coming up for air. Han throwing him up in the air as she held her breath and called out to be careful.Those quiet moments when Ben was carried away by their nanny, and they could slip away kissing under the waterfalls.

Or the nights that Han would sit with an older Ben and try to help him with his math. Standing in the doorway unnoticed, she would listen to him still explaining how important it was, especially if he wanted to be the best pilot in the galaxy.

But she was distracted, and it was all her fault. Always busy. Always stressed, worrying about political stability, thinking it was all on her shoulders despite legions of leaders working together to create the future the galaxy deserved. No, she believed it was her duty to lead and was blind to the many nights she came home to find Han and Ben sprawled out in their bed having waited as long as possible to see her before succumbing to deep sleep.

This was the only way Ben could sleep, when he was not alone, and Han never let him down. It made her feel ashamed that her husband held her baby more than she did, but he had a way with Ben, even as an infant. Han knew that something wasn't right, it was as if his instinct could smell the threat surrounding his son, and he put up the greatest effort to defend the one person her loved more than her.

Even as he grew older and his fears seemed irrational, Han never questioned him. He would pretend that he wanted to hang out and talk about the newest upgrades to the falcon or plan their next adventure. Sneaking away while she was working was a normal occurrence. In retrospect, it probably helped Han just as much as Ben. Han hated politics and meetings, he was happiest when he was speeding through the stars, and even happier when he had his boy with him.

A child had never been so loved.

And she talked him into sending Ben away. Out of fear, not fear from his growing and untamed power, but fear from losing him to the darkness. She had forseen it, and Just like her father before her, fear had pierced her soul. Losing Ben was so frightening that she would do the unthinkable and send him away, albeit with the only person she trusted, her brother. Fear, the path to the dark side. She had put them all at risk. It was her fault. All of it. And now they were all gone. Luke, Han, and her Ben. Her boy.

Losing Ben had broken them, tore them apart. The pain was so deep and raw that Han left. Ran away. Threw himself into his old life of smuggling.

But there wasn't a night before she fell sleep that she wouldn't reach out with her feelings and swear that she could touch his face, and kiss his lips, whispering her love and goodnight.

Large globular tears dropped from her eyes onto her lap.

_Ben, my son, my love. I failed you. I am so sorry that I failed you......_

_Its in your hands now, Rey. Save him. Please. You are my only hope. Save him and love him....love him like he never imagined possible. I will not live to see my grandchildren....love them for me. Tell them about me, about Han. Tell them that we love them. Always.  
_


	14. Cosmically Bound

Rey made her way back up the steps, bracing herself against the violent wind that was gusting in with the crashing waves. She had never felt so cold,. Shivering, the rain began to fall, but it wasn't just rain, her poncho was being pelted with bits of ice. When she looked back at the fading light of Chewie's fire, she could see the snow beginning to fall sideways. It was on her way back to the hut that she felt it, the reaching voice from light years away. It was so powerful that it made her stop in her tracks. Everything was suspended as she heard Leia's voice calling to her. _You are my only hope, save him. Please._

Nearing the door she could already feel that he was waiting for her, awake.

 

"It wasn't an ominous feeling... but it was heavy with sadness. It was sad but hopeful...sad...but full of love." Rey tried to explain.

"And you saw this?"

"I saw it and I felt it....both. Ben, there isn't much time left."

Ben paced the small space, making he ceiling seem lower against his height. His emotions were so conflicted and fractured, it was like watching her reflection in a mirror shattering into a thousand pieces or a glass break against the rocks. It was the truth and it gave him a feeling like he was in a flat spin falling from the sky. His inability to reconcile his feelings, of guilt and of abandonment, made it feel like he was running into the wind of a storm or trying to outrun the pull of a black hole. Continuing to pace, he chewed on his fingernails, a new habit that replaced the chewing of his lips, which he had gnawed at until they bled. It was like watching a person with constant indigestion.

"Ben, we will stay the night and then go to her. We do not need to stay here, we can always come back some day."

"I never said I wanted to go to her-"

"But she is your mother....your MOTHER. Do you know what I would have done to have a mother?!" Rey was flabbergasted.

"Rey, there is so much you do not know...that I am not ready to share. I love my mother, truly I do. Funny-," He laughed," I have not admitted that in over a decade." He stood looking at her blankly. "Love isn't everything. She betrayed me. She sent me away, Rey, like your parents left you for dead. She SENT ME AWAY, away to be devoured by the voices and the constant-" He trailed off.

"She didn't know." Rey was now steadfast in her defense.

"YES, yes _she did_. She knew and she is too proud to admit that she was afraid and threw me away because she did not want to deal with it. She thought Luke would solve the "problem", make me into a "normal" son." His eyes were sparkling with tears. "So when I told you that your parents threw you away like garbage, I know that feeling all too well."

Rey was speechless, like she had been when he had told her to let he past die, warning her that she needed to let go. And now she was asking him to do the exact opposite, to go to the person that was responsible for his fall from grace, to relive the past.

"Ben, I won't ask again. As your partner, your lover, your friend, I am begging you to try to disconnect and see it differently." Her tone was empathic and calm, imploring. "Letting the past die might be right for me....I have no way of getting the answers I need...but you, you can find peace by confronting your pain....you do not have to bury it or kill it. You can heal it. I will help you."

He stood staring at her, into her, and through her, and she met him with the same intensity.

"Come to bed. It is late, the winds are blowing in a storm. Let's just stay close and forget about today...for now."

 

He had already pulled out several of their thermal blankets, commissioned for star killer base and it's oppressively cold temperatures. and remade their bed. Wearing an informal grey long sleeved shirt, it was a thin fabric yet insulated body heat in even the coldest environments. If there was one thing the first order did well, it was create new technology and arm it's military. It was the first time she had ever seen him in anything but black and he looked so much softer and younger.

"I like the gray." She said smiling.

"This? Oh, there was no other choice. There was no time to customize-", He looked down at the floor stopping himself,"Thank you."

"The great Kylo Ren saying thank you?" She was trying to be playful.

"Don't say that name. I never want to hear you say that name again. Not out of your mouth. Please." He was solemn.

"Of course. I am sorry." She replied, quickly looking at the floor. 

"Here-" He handed her a smaller version of his clothing, it would still be large against her slight frame as it was too soon for her to gain weight from the improved nutrition. Again, she felt the same shyness come over her as she began to undress. The hut was warm enough to keep them comfortable, the added logs lit up the space with yellow and orange flames that danced against the bricks.

Starting to pull the shirt over her, she felt his hands around her waist. Standing still, the shirt was gathered around her head. She could feel him bend his knees in front of her, placing his head against her stomach. Popping her head through the collar, she looked down and stroked his hair and time stood still. 

It was a difficult connection, hard to read at times due to his instability, but they stayed connected always. Reading his mind was like sifting through a jumbled puzzle with thousands of pieces. It was never his intention to withdraw or hide anything from her, only in those rare moments that he tried to process his thoughts or was trying to protect her. Despite his great power, he had not mastered the complete control of his mind. It came and went, like an irratic tug o war. But when he focused on her, he could lay his feelings out with such simplicity and honesty, it was so powerful to her that tears reflexively pooled in her eyes.

Something had changed inside of her, in a deep place that she had only begun to discover. It felt like a planted seed, a flower beginning to bloom with it's veiny roots reaching out, drawing life from dark wet soil. It had a heartbeat of it's own, in sync with the flow of energy surrounding it, unfurling as the light grew. She could feel the heartbeat in her ears, beating against her own, against his, balancing the chaos in between. Somehow she knew that they were now completely bound as one, through this mysterious pulse that had begun to speak to her, like a faint yet growing signal.

Ben jerked and snapped his head up to look at her. He looked like he had seen a ghost.

"Rey.......Rey...," His voice was a mixture of surprise, of terror, of joy. "Did you feel that?"

Rey closed her eyes and let the feeling flow through and outward into him, opening herself to the tiny heartbeat of a new hope. Their hope.

 


	15. Getting dressed Part 2

 

In the last week they had spent every moment together, and as strange is it felt he was still with her after he had left the room, like his energy was a glow that followed and surrounded her. That feeling combined with the fullness of her abdomen made the beating of her heart hurt her chest. It was all so overwhelming. Never could she have imagined that she could be so complete. Holding on to her belly, although it was still hard and flat, she imagined that soon it would be round and her body would be softer. Lost in her thoughts, she was alerted by a feeling that she was not alone.

Turning around slowly she froze and found herself face to face with the nun. She didn't know whether to be frightened, or angry for the intrusion, or curious. Rey noticed that the small creature was holding something in her arms. Waddling over to the stone slab bed, Alcida Alucia gently placed a well folded pile of items. Motioning to approach her, Rey hesitated until the Nun reached out to her.

Looking down at the pile, Alcida Auka began to lay out each item: a long almost white wrap gown trimmed with tiny embroidered purple flowers, a necklace that looked like some sort of pale grey crystal, and last, a thin sheer sheet of fabric. Motioning again, Rey began to take off her thermal clothing. Pulling on the gown, she could have sworn that the creature was smiling at her. It was a bit long, but fit just enough to be suitable. Tying the band around Rey's waist, Alcida Auka gently draped the sheer cloth over her head. Taking Rey's hand, she placed the necklace, squeezing her fingers around it, then she placed her hand on Rey's abdomen and closed her eyes as if she was saying some sort of prayer.

 _How do you know this is why I  came back?_ Rey thought. 

When Alcida Auka opened her eyes they were filled with joy. The Lanai venerated the female mother energy and she was not sure if she could remember a song that told the story of one of the others being with child. The miracle was not lost on the old woman. She could sense many things, like the deep sadness and pain of this young and wild creature, and her loneliness. Alcida Auka could feel that this young female had never had a mother, for she surly only knew how to destroy things rather than mend or heal. She could sense all of that was changing, as the tiny heartbeat grew stronger and stronger, like a bright flashing star in the night sky.

 _This would be a special child, indeed._ Alcida Auka thought to herself. _A very important child. A child made from a special love._ Letting go, she turned and left. 

Standing alone, Rey looked down at herself, not knowing how to feel. She had never owned or wore a dress. Sliding on her grey pants and adjusting the wrap so the split fell in front, she began to feel more comfortable. Like herself. Noticing the details of the fabric, it looked like it had been hand woven but with such precision that it fooled the eye. This was the gown of someone important, maybe from the past? Reaching to tie the necklace around her neck, she felt her breath catch and heard the same swirling voices that she had heard calling to her from the tree. The crystal was alive and it was speaking to her, bonding with her. 

 _I will never be alone....what a gift._ She thought to herself. She wouldn't waste a moment longing for a family that would never come back. Maz's words were echoing in her mind as she made her way to the door. _The belonging you seek is not behind you, but ahead. Yes, Maz, you were always right._

Carrying the veil, Rey made her way up the steep slope of the temple mountain. 

 

 


	16. The reckoning

_Three of us._ He looked at the ground shaking his head in disbelief. Where he had lacked resolve, he was full of steady and calm force. A son, _his son_ , would grow and thrive inside her, and unlike his mother that knew she was being infected with darkness, he would commune with his child in the womb and build a wall. Rey's birth would be swift, unlike his own that labored for two days, like the he was hanging on to the womb out of terror. His child would not be born screaming for help and protection as he had, sounds that fell on deaf and ignorant ears. It would scream and cry to open itself up to it's pure awareness and need for love, and he, they, would be there to give it. Limitless, pure love.

_Love. Is it possible to love from the darkness?_

Secretly, he had always questioned his purpose, and felt the crushing pressure of fulfilling a legacy of the chosen one. It tore at him constantly, and where Snoke believed it would solidify his path into darkness, instead it kept the cracks to the light open and raw.

Ben knew that his grandfather loved his grandmother enough to fall to the darkness. Not completely sure how he knew, it was so clear that instincually he hid this knowledge from Snoke.  Buried in the deepest caverns of his mind, he suspended it there, as a blinding ball of light and hope, hidden so deeply that it was abstract and easy to ignore. To forget in order to protect it. 

And she, his grandmother, cherished their love and hopes so much that she would give their babies over to the jedi for protection. To Obi Wan Kenobi, his namesake.

_The jedi ._ That word was like acid on his tongue. _Protection. The jedi know nothing of protection. All of Anakin and Padme's loss lead to here. To me. A tortured man who had done unspeakable things._   _For the order._

But he knew it was never about the order, it was selfishly about living up the expectations of Snoke, to be a new Vader.....to be worthy and to finally belong. To not feel like and be treated like a monster.To have purpose and meaning, to find relief from the violent battle between light and dark that had been waging in his mind since the womb. 

But his way of thinking was twisted and since the moment he touched Rey's mind, he had to confront the truth, that he had become the very thing they believed him to be. _A monster._

Shaking his head, he tried to clear his mind. _My son will need a monster to protect him_. 

_Anakin. We should name him Anakin Han Solo. Han-_ he swallowed hard at the thought. His eyes widened as the falcon came into view. _Dad_. All of the hair on his body stood up. _I killed him....because he meant the most...because I loved him....because I never stopped needing him. I tried to act like i didn't sense him, I tried to pass him by....to avoid it...but he gave me no choice....but I did have a choice....but i could not go back.....there is no going back._

Approaching his ship, he caught something out of the corner of his eye. Swallowing hard, he dropped his head and took a few steps until he heard the blood curdling mournful cry. It sounded like the howl of a wounded animal, and as Ben braced himself for what he was about to do, the wookie let out another gut wrenching howl. Standing beneath the cockpit and next to a makeshift fire ring stood Chewbacca. 

Ben squeezed his eyes tightly and turned toward the falcon. When he opened them, the sight of his father's ship stung and burned as he was failing to stop the bitter tears. 

Expecting the creature to run and attack, instead, again, he let out the same mournful cry. 

Ben stood staring, unable to move or speak.

It was like a strange stand off, neither able to move forward or turn away. 

Up until that point, Ben had believed in his core that he was finished with all of this. It was the past and he had killed his past so he could move on and forward, but here he was, looking at his past in the face and tears of a creature he had known as family.

_You cannot deny the truth that is your family_. The old man had been right.

Ben began to walk toward the towering figure, slowly, like each step was giving him more and more confidence, but instead he felt a knot inside begin to unravel.

Stopping within inches, the two males acknowledged one another. He could have warned the beast that he could crush him with the mere thought of it, but he didn't, Chewie knew he could and confronted him anyway.

A sense of surrender flooded him from a deep place in his soul. Bracing himself for a full on assault, Ben was ready to take it, to not use his force powers and allow Chewbacca to beat on him-but he didn't. Looking down at Ben, his eyes pouring tears, Chewbacca reached out his furry hand and touched Ben's face.

Imagining the last time he saw him, as a young boy, Chewie wept. Remembering the look in his eyes, surrounded by puffy dark circles from lack of sleep and frequent outbursts that ended in crying, a look that always cut Chewie to the core. Leaving him with Luke and saying goodbye, Chewie had known it was the wrong choice but he remained silent, now feeling complicit in Ben's fall.

Remembering the many nights that he had stayed up watching over him while he slept, when he woke from a horrific nightmare. He wept remembering the good times, at the river lands, or when baby Ben was learning to walk, or the first time he used his powers to levitate an apple for the wookie, or the feeling of the young boys arms around his neck seeking and receiving a moment of peace that only Chewie could provide. He remembered sitting the child on his lap and teaching him to pilot the falcon, and seeing pure joy for the first time from the tortured boys face. So many times they sat like that, racing through space, partners in adventure into the unknown. 

And he remembered Han, his pain and failure. His death. 

All of those memories, compacted into a ball surrounded by pain and suffering. Chewbacca had never loved something so much, even more than he loved Han, and had never known such pain, even when he was separated from his family and own kind.

Ben was his son too.

"Ooof!" Ben grunted as he was forcefully pulled against the mountainous wookie, expecting the beating to begin.

Silently rigid, Ben let the feeling of the painfully familiar grip close in on him,squeezing tighter and tighter. Feeling his body let go, Ben began to hug him back, and if felt like rolling down a hill, picking up speed without a way to stop, a free fall of painful emotions.

"Chewie....I am sory.....it is all my-," The words came spilling out, pained and choked from emotion. 

Chewbacca interrupted with a loud growl. Looking into this eyes, Ben knew what the creature was saying, that it wasn't his fault.

"I don't know about that, I did what I did....and I cannot fix it.....I can't fix it......I can't-" As his tears began fall, his heart pounded so furiously that he thought it would explode. "I am so sorry-" He choked out the words.

They stood there, motionless, and for the first time since his parents sent him away, Ben knew he had never really been alone. This revelation was more powerful, transforming, and healing than he ever imagined he deserved. Chewie's forgiveness was the closest he would get to his father's. 

Looking up at Chewbacca's face it was as if he was saying "I have always been here, waiting for you to come home."

 


	17. Reaching across time and space

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to wait to post this but it is killing me!!!! I just can't wait!

The flowers were tiny, each no larger than the size of a pea, and they caught the light of the setting sun, sparkling like the rainbow of colors seen through the ocean spray. They lined the edge of her gown, running the entire length, and at first glance they looked like an abstract pattern. The thread was some sort of metallic or iridescent material, giving the gown an ethereal glow.

The fabric of the wrap was delicate but deceivingly strong, clearly having been made by skilled hands and woven with complete precision. The bodice had a robe-like quality, layering one side over the other, creating the same v-shaped neckline Rey had always worn, but this one was deeper and more revealing.

 _This would catch a huge reward on Jakku, 70 portions? Maybe not, Unkar Plutt was an ignorant fool_ , Rey thought, immediately feeling ashamed she could be so cold, wondering if there would ever be a day that she would not measure the value of things in portions. 

The gown flowed around her as she walked, catching the air, and the excess length gave the illusion of a billowing train. The sunlight cut through the sheerness, outlining the curves of her hips and legs. Surprisingly warm, the interior of the stone sanctuary was a stark contrast to the wind blowing in with the tide, biting her skin like needles. She paced back and forth, wondering if Ben would have the courage to step inside the temple. She had refused to share her deepest desire with him, she wanted and needed him to come on his own. 

Sitting down on the edge of the reflecting pool, the single drop from the ceiling was hypnotizing as she looked out toward the bright orange, yellow, and magenta streaks lighting up the setting horizon. Wrapping the pale grey veil around herself for warmth, she couldn't bring herself to drape her head with it. She felt silly and uncomfortable. 

 _I was not made to be royalty,_  she thought.  _If he doesn't come, I won't be disappointed... No. I won't. I won't wait until it is dark. I am so tired of waiting, almost my entire life has been wasted waiting. I will go back to the hut and pack. We have to leave this place... We must go to Leia._

"Rey." it wasn't a question, or open ended. It was the honest and deep velvety voice that stroked up her spine, that talked to her in her sleep, that called to her soul. 

Looking over her shoulder, the shadowy sillouhette emerged from the tunneled entry. 

"Ben-?" She couldn't hide her disbelief and relief.

"What is this? Did you think I had left? That I wouldn't come?" He couldn't help but smile and his tone had that slightly playful scolding quality, like he was her teacher. 

Rey's eyes lit up from relief and joy. Walking toward her, she could see another outline emerge, taller, so much taller. 

"Chewie?! " Rey jumped up ready to rush toward them.

"No, please sit. I want to remember this moment. It's like I am seeing you for the first time." He was so intensely sentimental. "I want to remember my wife, my beautiful wife, just like this, forever." 

Chewie growled in agreement.

A radiant and captivating magnet to his eyes and attention, he never thought she could be more beautiful, until now. In the forest on Takodana, she had blinded him the moment he set eyes on her, seeing nothing but her small terrified body and energy, and when he easily unlocked her mind, everything about her, every microscopic detail, was burnt into him like a branding. 

Some things are a choice, but loving Rey was not. It was a force all of its own. 

Rey refused to avert her eyes, looking back at him with the same reverence and awe. He had changed his clothes and was wearing a dark gray robe, almost like the formal Jedi attire, but this was different, something she had never seen before. She could tell it was old, like her gown, their grays complimented one another. He looked so young and beautiful, alive in a way that she had not seen. The brooding seriousness had softened, and in its place was a calm almost serene incarnation of the man she loved.

"So this is why you wanted to come. This place. Why?" He asked with the same soft tone she had come to find so comforting. Never on the surface, when he spoke to her it was raw and true, woven with a knowing and primal intimacy that would scare most people.

"I do not know why....maybe because the vision comforted me for so long....or because it was the first time I touched you....or because I wanted answers and didn't want to see the answer until now. A wise person told me that the belonging I was seeking was not behind, but ahead. She told me that they were never coming back, but that someone still could. When I touched the mirror, beneath the island, I wasn't ready to see it...to see that it was always you...ahead of me...waiting for me."

Ben watched her, his expression was impassive as it had been in the hut when they reached out across the galaxy. There were no words to speak in response, only his bare hand reaching out to her.

Caught by the wave of energy, Rey's body involuntarily shook from the force. Tears streamed from her eyes, thick and glistening, dropping gracefully as if they were floating against her flushed skin. Reaching her hand in response, he came toward her, taking it in his own, he pulled her to her feet. Wrapping his arm around her waist, he bent down, kissing her so softly she felt like her body had begun to float upwards, held back only by his embrace. 

There were no rules or written rituals to follow, no religious figure to officiate or give a human declaration of legitimacy. What transpired was beyond their world, the known worlds, and the unknown regions. It was simply two souls, offering their entire being to the other, agreeing to formally recognize their cosmic bond. They were accepting to bind their individual existences into one, for eternity. 

Clasping hands over the reflecting pool, the mosaic of the prime jedi was obscured by the vibrating water as the force surrounded them. The black and white image began to blur, taking on the illusion of an illuminated grayness. They did not need to speak, their bond was so strong that everything around them was coming alive with their energy.

Standing back, Chewbacca looked on from behind, the only witness to the miracle. He was transfixed by the outline of their profiles against the setting sun. Looking past them he saw the meditation rock where Luke had passed on. Blinking twice, he realized his eyes were not deceiving him, the tiny pebbles on the ledge were floating and suspended in mid air. Standing in the middle of the sea of pebbles were three force ghosts looking inward at Ben and Rey holding hands. Squinting his eyes, Chewie could see the smiles of approval of Luke and Yoda. Standing with them was Han, never a jedi and a doubter of all things unseen, yet there he was in his luminous form watching his son heal, becoming what he was always meant to be.

 

 

 

 


	18. One and grey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the wedding night and I toned down the smut, but if you do not like to read about intimacy, you might want to wait for the next chapter.

The sun had almost completely set when they made their way down the steep steps of the temple mountain. Luckily, the light dusting off snow from the day before had long melted away, but the wind was still cutting and cold. Being a child of the desert, Rey was shaking uncontrollably.

"We are almost there. I didn't think to bring your coat. I am sorry." Ben sounded guilty.

"It is my fault, I knew better. We just spent more time than I anticipated....which I am glad we did." She managed to smile at him through her chattering teeth.

"I will carry you, that way you will be warmer."

"No. I am fine. We are almost there." She replied sternly.

"If you think I am going to allow you to freeze and put our child in danger-," before he could finish his sentence Chewbacca had already lifted her into his arms, wrapping her in his warm fur. Letting out a sound of disbelief, Ben and Rey quickly glanced at one another realizing that Chewie did not know.

"Uhhhh....well, I didn't have a chance to tell you." Rey braced herself for Chewie's roar, and instead he softly chattered at her.

"I know......right? Believe me it is not what I expected! Or planned....but none of this was planned....it just kind of happened...right, Ben?" Rey's animated expression dropped as she noticed he was several steps ahead, deep in thought. "You know, he isn't going to lighten up in one day....or maybe ever?" 

"I heard that."He called back at her.

"I know you did!" She yelled back, smiling.

"But you see Chewie, I just can't help it. I am in love with him. Brooding, serious, angry....and soft...and sweet.." Her voice trailed off as Chewie began to chuckle.

"Alright...alright. Enough." He called out in a firm tone.

She could feel that he was smiling and slightly irritated. This was about as far as she could tease him.

 

Finally reaching the stone structures, Ben signed from relief. Setting Rey down in front of their hut, Chewie patted her on the head and turned to Ben, grabbing and pulling him into a tight embrace. 

"Chewie, are you sure you want to be down by the water? The wind is kicking up and it is so cold. There is a hut next to ours." Rey was concerned.

Shaking his head and chuckling again, he let go of Ben, turned, and made his way down the path toward the falcon.

 

Rey let out a gasp as Ben lifted her into his arms, carrying her through the doorway.

"Again, Captain Solo? I would think you had come up with a different move?" She teased watching his expression change from joy to intensely serious.

"Nope. I only needed one to catch you and it is the only one I will ever use." He laughed and abruptly stopped. It still felt so unnatural to be happy and free. 

"It is ok....you can laugh....we are going to have a long time together and you are going to have to get used to being teased and laughing." She replied, softly touching his confused face.

Forcing the door open with his back, there was a rush a dry warm air that smelled of flowers. Using his foot to kick the door closed, they looked around the small but cozy space to find it had been decorated with bunches of dried and perfectly preserved wild flowers, so many that there were too many to count. Their bed had a new blanket and upon closer look there had been a design made out of dried petals, dark and light. It was the same image from the temple reflecting pool.

"Did you do this?" Rey asked in amazement.

"I wish I could say I did." Ben responded. "They must have done it while we were in the temple."

"Who?"

"Rey, who else is here?" He replied matter of factly," The fish nuns, as you call them."

"Oh, I didn't think about that." Rey said quietly, slightly ashamed she did not think of the old nun's kindess earlier that day. She had looked at Rey like she had expected her to be there, and she knew about the baby somehow. She knew everything.

"They know far more than you think, sweetheart." He replied with that same scolding tone.

"Ok, Supreme Leader. Enough scolding....and sweetheart....," Her voice trailed off.

"Rey, I know. That is why I say it. I don't have to say I will come back for you. I am right here. Forever." He replied, kissing her forehead.

"Again, the tears. Will I ever stop crying?" She sniffled, trying to shake off the embarrassment of being so emotional.

"Not for a while." He smiled down at her.

"Sit and stay here." His intense dark eyes lingered, as he lowered her and looked her up and down.  Turning away from her, he walked to the corner and rifled through his bag.

"Ok." She replied curiously.

"Close your eyes." He said as he carried something toward her. "Hold out your hands."

Rey slowly reached her open palms forward. What he placed in her hands was heavy, but felt like soft fabric.

"This is what took me so long to meet you, besides running into Chewbacca. I have been working on this all week, while you slept."

Opening her eyes, she was confused. Bending down in front of her, he pulled the fabric away to reveal her saber, intact. 

"There will be many things that I will give you, but I felt this was the most important right now." His eyes searched her face as if his fragile heart would break if she disapproved.

Rey was speechless, stuttering and struggling to form words.

"Ben...how? How did you do this?" She didn't try to hide her disbelief.

"Don't ask, I will tell you later...and do not ignite it in here. It is double ended, like your staff....and as soon as we get to Naboo, I will teach you how to use it." HIs eyes began to twinkle, like they were smiling at her.

"So you are my husband and my master?" She had begun to sniffle.

"I do not believe in masters, Rey. We will do our own thing....we will share our knowledge and make our own rules." His expression turned serious. 

Now sobbing, he wrapped his arms around her. Pulling her head back, his long thumbs cleared away the tears that were still dropping from her eyes.

"Don't cry. It is a gift." His voice was soft and gentle."Don't let my beautiful eyes cry."

His words only threw more fuel at her emotional inferno. He was awkward, having never really given a gift of such meaning. Not knowing what to do, he suddenly pressed his lips against hers, trying to catch and reset her attention. Rey let her body collapse and melt into him, letting her lips flow against his like water flowing into water. Smooth, and gentle, he could not restrain his hunger for her and the intensity deepened. Breathlessly pulling away, Rey giggled.

"Let me wipe my nose or this is going to be very messy. You must already know that I am not the most graceful or educated on manners. I am a mess." They both laughed.

"Not to me." He replied with deep longing. Reaching down, he pulled the fabric wrap and wiped her nose, looking deeply into her eyes. "Stand up for me."

Taking the saber from her hands and placing it safely on the stone floor away from the fire, Rey rose from her stool. Still on his knees, he pressed his head against her stomach, wrapping his thick arms around her. She could feel the air release from his lungs and the relaxation melt away the stiffness of his shoulders. Massaging his hair, her fingers traveled down to his neck, working out more of the tension. 

 _He will learn to let go and relax_ Rey thought to herself.

Flattening his hands, he slid them from her back to front, and watched her gown fall open. Playfully, his fingertips pushed under the edges of the folds, pushing it open further. The flickering light from the flames danced against her tan freckled skin, as his hands grazed their way up from her abdomen to her breasts. Already swollen and tender, she could feel that they were heavier and more sensitive, which felt surprisingly good. All of her knowledge of childbearing came from the old midwives on Jakku, and where it was very early to visibly see the changes of her body, she knew that the first place was always there. 

"Oh my, you are a sneaky one." She giggled.

"Who, me?" He mumbled against her belly. "Never."

Letting her head fall back, she let the feeling of his darkness creep over her. She was no longer afraid that it would tempt her, or drag her down into the dark bottomless water, or tell her half truths. The darkness held the same truths as the light, but provided a different path to the answers. In the end, together they were grey, neither side superior to the other, just a blissful balance between the two. Sometimes it felt delicious to swim in the darkness, and so comforting and peaceful to bask in the light. Switching back and forth, one flowing into the other was an ecstasy she never knew was possible because she had been conditioned to believe one was right and the other was wrong. It was humans that made it all wrong, not the pure nature of the force. 

Kissing his way up her torso, he pulled her down onto his lap, wrapping her legs around his waist. Eyes meeting, their lips crushed together hungerly. Feeling the hardness beneath his robe and pants, she naturally rolled her hips over him, searching for the spot of connection. 

He had wanted to be gentle, but there was always this primal call that overcame him, like he wasn't totally himself. Standing up, her body still wrapped around his, he walked them to the stone slab bed. With one hand on her back and the other at the base of her spine, he eased them down on to the soft dried petals. Grazing his neck and scar with her fingertips, exploring his skin and face, her mouth traveled down to suck the soft flesh of his above his collar bone. Pulling open his robe, his chest and stomach recoiled from sensitivity. Gliding her hands downward, she began to pull away his pants.

"Noooooo....not yet." He moaned, gently guiding her hands above her head as he ground his hips into her. Arching her back in response, she could feel the pleasure building, layer upon layer, as he continued to rub his body against hers. Weaving his fingers into her hair, and pulling her head back to expose her neck, his mouth was searching and observing her responses. 

"Ben, please.....don't make me wait-," She moaned as her body writhed against him.

"Shhhhh....," He murmured against her soft skin.

Reaching down, he slid his fingers between her legs, against the growing wetness that signaled how ready she was. Unable to hold back a deep groan, he pulled down the front on his pants and slowly pushed inside of her. Placing his hands behind her knees, he pushed her legs up toward her chest, until she responded by wrapping them around him, using her heels to kick his pants off totally.

Pausing, he looked at her face, and his body shuddered from the wave of love he felt flow out of her and into him. Fluidly thrusting his hips in a slow deep rhythm, they moved as one, consumed with the pleasure of their bodies connecting and their energy flowing into a single source. Dropping his head against hers, his tears dropped onto her cheeks, and she felt his body erupt into a blinding brightness that only she could see. Welcoming it, she felt it flow between them and through her abdomen. It was so beautiful, her only response was to weep with him, as she witnessed his internal cracks break open and crumble to reveal his throbbing golden rush of light.

 

 

 

 


	19. the way he looks at her

Running, his chest felt tight as he pushed himself harder, refusing to be caught. The green grass felt wet under his toes, gripping the cushion-like density, thick like one of the rugs at the palace. The air was filled with a salty spray drifting in from the crashing waves below and the smell was of fish, and water, and freshly turned soil. Bright yellow and gold rays were breaking through the rolling clouds. The squeals of laughter echoed,y closing in behind him. Competitive to the bone, the chase stopped being fun when he passed the old burnt tree, and now his smile was replaced with a solid expression of determination.

"You are no fun!" They yelled out behind him, their voices fading as he picked up more speed and increased the distance. The rhythm of the pounding in his ears overpowered their voices,  and he began to forget what he was running from. Legs burning,racing against the wind, he could the feel the power of the tide kicking up more spray, tasting it on his tongue and stinging his eyes. And as the details of the world faded, he was left with his will and freedom at his fingertips. 

"ANAKIN! ENOUGH!" The deep bellowing voice cut through his head as he came to an abrupt stop, falling forward into a rocky patch of grass. The pain ripped through his knees and he couldn't stop the reflex of tears filling his eyes, knowing that if he looked down they were covered in blood. Keeping his head bowed, he tried to hide his embarrassment as he felt the footsteps approaching. "Son, what are you doing?" 

From the tone of the voice, he knew his father was mad, but more concerned. Strong hands slid under his arms pulling him to his feet, and the shadow of the figure dwarfed his abnormally tall 10 year old body. 

"What do you think you are doing? You are going to get yourself killed." The shadow hovered, as his father bent down on one knee to assess the damage. His father's big hands brushed away the dirt and grit that covered his bloody legs. "The twins only want to play with you, why do you always run from them?"

Stubbornly chewing his lips and sniffling back tears, he refused to raise his eyes, ashamed. 

"Anakin, look at me." He could feel the long fingers under his chin, pulling his head upward.

"Are you hurt?" His father's tone changed from slightly angry and concerned, to kind, so warm and kind.

"Yes." The boy could no longer hold back the tears, his bright blue eyes glistening. 

"Come with me, it is ok to cry. Believe me, I have cried many times in my life. Do not be ashamed."

The boys eyes focused onto the dark and mysterious gaze of the man he admired, and in many ways idolized, wondering how he always knew what he had been thinking.

"Dad, they make me crazy. They bother me all the time. I just want to be alone."

"Come...let's get you to your mother so she can clean you up before she finds you here... I will chase the twins....or I will make Chewie scare them. You would like that, wouldn't you?" He laughed.

Smiling, the boy's face softened, and as the frustration faded, the sweet gentle little boy resurfaced. 

"BEN! BEN! What in the name of all things holy happened?! ANAKIN, you are bleeding! Come here!" Rey was calling out from the top of the hill.

" See, I warned you. " He laughed. "Anakin, you are too serious for your age. Be a boy... and don't be so quick to want to be alone. I know all about loneliness and someday soon I will tell you all about it. Do not rush to grow up. Now go to your mother." He placed a loving kiss into the light blonde head of hair. 

Anakin looked closely at his father's long face. His features were strong, unlike his own. His eyes were dark and sometimes scary, where his were light like the sky. Not knowing how old his father was, he noticed the fine lines around his eyes when he laughed and smiled, especially when he watched his mother and father when they thought he wasn't looking. It was in those moments that Anakin felt the safest and happiest, when they were together, and he really didn't know why?

There was something about how his father looked at his mother, the way he placed his hand at the small of her back when he kissed her forehead, or the way he pinched her when she wasn't expecting it. It was like nothing else in the world existed when they were together, like they spoke without words, like neither of them had a beginning or end. There were many times that the three of them would catch their parents staring at each other, until one of the twins inevitably interrupted the strange magic that was invisibly connecting them. 

Leelee, a little brown haired hazel eyed girl was the worst, and it was no secret that his father had a special love for her. She was rotten to the core, which wasn't lost on his mother. Luke, or Lulu as he preferred to call him, which made the child scream and cry that Anakin was making fun of him, was blonde and blue eyed like him. In reality, he adored them, but didn't understand them. He felt light years away and his father was the only person that understood. 

"Daddy, when I grow up, I want to be just like you." He sniffled and watched the wave of emotion wash over his father's face.

"Anakin, I want you to be _just you_. Someday I will tell you all about me and you might not like what you hear, but I will tell you how it all happened. Now, what is important to know is that I was nothing without your mother. She saved me and I owe everything, even my life, to her. Be you. Do not think about trying to be like anyone else. You are enough."

Anakin gulped away his tears and headed up the hill toward his mother who was impatiently waiting. She had a way of always making everything better and no matter how bad he failed or the mistake he made, he knew she was there to help him, to love him. There were moments that she was so bright to him, like she glowed.

"Twins, get away from the ledge!" He could hear his father's booming voice rumble over the hill and the squeals of delight as he chased them away from it.

That night, after his parents had kissed him and tucked him into his warm bed, he stayed awake listening to the crackling of the fire. The twins were in the hut next to his and he could hear Chewbacca growling impatiently, having had enough of their antics. He chose to sleep with them because inevitably one of them would have to be chased down and put back to bed. But when they finally slept, the strongest storm filled with thunder and lightning could ravage the island and they wouldn't budge. They would sleep on the wookie, a tangle of legs, arms, and drooly hot faces, and he was sure that Chewbacca would have it no other way.

Sneaking out of his hut, the full moon lit up the uneven terrain, but gave him the light he needed to slip away. Approaching their hut, somehow he could hear them talking through the thick bricks and mortar.

" He is just like you, Ben. So serious and aware....so powerful...he hasn't begun to see it yet. What are we going to do?"

"Rey, we will do what our parents didn't do for us. We will be there for him. We will love him and teach him. He is right where he belongs We will always be there."

"Oh Ben-"

"You do not need to say it, I already know."

"I love you Ben Solo."

 

 

 

 

 


	20. The dark morning hours before the dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT WARNING: skip this chapter if you do not like sexual content.  
> Music is really important to me when I write, which is why I love the Star Wars spotify playlists for each character. When I find a song that inspires me I have to listen to it on repeat or I lose my focus. The previous chapter I listened to Lana Del Rey Love, and this chapter I listened to Lana Del Rey Lust for Life....over and over again. If you have never heard it, try listening to it before reading :)

The fire had reduced to glowing red embers, and the candle wicks had burnt down deep within their pillars, illuminating the yellow wax like the flickering glow of the hundreds of fire flies that would light up the grassy fields of the Naboo riverlands. Ben was awake, stroking Rey's hair and skin as his mind wandered through his childhood memories, anticipating their arrival on his ancestral planet. Wanting to avoid it all, he allowed himself to focus only on her.

Sweaty, naked, and wrapped together, it felt so natural and normal. So many years covered from head to toe, it amplified every sensation, particularly his desire, which felt like breathlessly swimming from an abyss and clawing toward the light above. A singular touch of one of her fingertips was like being touched by a live wire, and even when it was overwhelming and painful, he needed to be fed by her electricity. 

Willingly open, pouring out the aching he had buried for his entire life, he continued to gaze at her wide-eyed with disbelief that she was real and not a cruel mind trick inflicted to break him down further. No matter how many times they came together, it was the same feeling. No, she, they, were real flesh and blood, smelling of sex and love and everything he never knew he could experience. It was such an inevitability that he hadn't even thought of the possibility, yet here he was, holding his wife in his arms on a strange island that was the pure physical manifestation of the force itself. 

Years would pass and he would still look at her with the same gaze, and when they came together as one, once again, he was reminded that there was a time that he didn't know their love was possible, or that there was a person who could love the monster that he had become. Rey always believed in him, that he, even striped of his lineage and powers, was worth something.

Ben wanted to stay in that moment forever, and forget that when the sun rose he would have to face his past yet again. 

Rolling her onto her belly, knowing soon it would not be an option. He kissed the base of her spine while running his fingers between the tight roundness of her bottom. Sucking on that sensitive spot, his hands cupped and massaged her skin, traveling his kisses up her spine as he eased his weight over her. Pulling her hair to one side, he kissed her neck and began to whisper his thoughts into her ear as she slept, telling her all of the things he wanted to do to her, all while rocking his hips as the his hardness grew.

Still in a dreamy half sleep, Rey began to moan softly as she could feel the tip of his cock tease her, his hips making her feel like she was being pushed back and forth in a swing. 

"I love feeling your weight on me-" She murmured half asleep. 

Gliding his arms over hers, he wove their fingers together above their heads. Using his knee to gently push her legs apart, his hips pushed with increasing pressure, searching for the slip and warmth, until he squeezed inside against the pulsing of her body begging for him to enter her. Propping himself up with one arm, he used his other hand to spread her apart, pushing deeper and harder, until he could feel the tip of his cock rub against the rough spot inside that made her entire body shake uncontrollably. 

Hissing, his breath cut between his clenched teeth as he felt the delirious pleasure from her pulsing muscles clamping on to him, and with every fluid movement of his body he could feel her draw out the drunken euphoria. 

Coming together, joining their bodies and their minds, meant more, was more intense and amplified, having known such debilitating cold loneliness. He was sweaty and hot, and wet from her, and it was so achingly beautiful that he wanted to let go. Refocusing on her, he stayed suspended in that torturous tension, teetering on the edge of bliss. He wouldn't stop until he felt her energy tighten and squeeze, folding in on itself, until it rushed outward causing a chain reaction of explosive pleasure that gripped her from head to toe.

Moaning loudly, her body and mind were awake, feeding off of his primal desire. Feeling her mind being carried into that strange head space, where this singular moment blotted out everything in her awareness, feeling like a veil falling over her eyes, she commanded her body to release against and into him. 

Shuddering against the dark flow of her sexual energy, his thrusts felt like he was stretching and reaching, that her body was reaching back and drawing it out of him. Involuntarily slowing with every push, his body jerked uncontrollably as the hot flow pumped into her.

Shifting his body to not let his full weight crush her,  his cheek pressed against hers, they shook and writhed until the spasms slowed. Feeling every breath, they floated in that blank serenity, lulling them both back to sleep. Digging in against him, her body had a feline quality, and she softly moaned as she  fell deeper into sleep.


	21. My ship or yours, or ours?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have included a break in the middle of the chapter to indicate a smut warning. Please read to the break and skip the rest if you do not appreciate smut.

"Ben, if we arrive in your ship it will alert Hux. That is not an option." Rey was perplexed.

Ben growled under his breath." We are not taking the hunk of junk."

"Stop being so stubborn. You know this is the only way."

"And what would we have done if it wasn't here?"

Rey pondered for a moment."It doesn't matter, it IS here and it is the better option."

Staring at her sourly, he paced back and forth as she put the last of their belongings into their bags. Stopping, Rey held the robe with the purple flowers. Running her fingers against the embroidery, she set it down on the slab bed, perfectly folded.

"Let's just get our bags to the ship and then we can decide, can we agree on that?" She looked up at him. 

"Fine." He conceded. 

"So that is not a NO." She teased.

"Rey-"

"Ok ok. Sorry." She smiled a big toothy grin.

 

Rocking his head side to side, the pops and cracks of his neck uncomfortably broke the tense silence. 

"What?" He looked at them, genuinely oblivious at the sound his body had just made or that they had been watching him as he settled into the captain's seat. 

Chewie and Rey looked at back and forth, apprehensively. 

Rey began to chew on her bottom lip, something she rarely did, biting down on any words that tried to slip out of her mouth. The last thing she needed was to say something that would trigger his anxiety or cause an explosive burst of anger. Amazed that he was even sitting in his father's seat, and that she didn't have to continue her argument to leave his shuttle behind, she sat back observing his every move. It felt like when she was crawling through one of the wrecked star destroyers on Jakku, holding her breath as she pulled at the metal hoping there wasn't a lone live wire or energy burst. 

Running his hands over the surfaces, it was like watching a blind person using their sense of touch to see, reading the textures with his fingertips, deeply enthralled with the story it was telling him. 

"I can feel your impression mixed with his, Rey." He said, not angry or sad, more reflective than anything.

Chewie whined softly. 

"Ben, forward, not behind." Were the only words she could put together. Looking back at her, he gave a small shrug and smile. Taking a deep breath, he turned to Chewie.

"Ready?" He sounded scared. 

Growling back at him sternly, Chewbacca refused to move.

"Ok....yes....I know, I know." He cleared his throat, "Ready." This time it was not a question, but a clear statement that he was ready to take the controls.

Chuckling, Chewbacca clicked away, firing up the"piece of junk" as he liked to call it.

Listening to the engines fire and surge with power, the force of it blew the water into what looked like a sheet of glass. Rey watched the sweat collect on his neck, and his shoulders tighten as he eased them off of their rock pad and in to the air, soaring over the rolling waves and kicking up the spray. 

Feeling his rapid heartbeat, his crippling fear, his shaking hands, and quickened breathing, she understood what she was witnessing and that she could not help,or do it for him, even if she ached to do so. She had to sit behind him, to trust Chewie as his copilot, and watch him fall over the edge, either embracing the peace or fighting the pain.

In an instant, it was clear that he had made up his mind and she could see all of the fragments fall away from him, his shoulders dropping and chest relaxing into a deep exhale as they left the atmosphere of Ahch-To. Entering the blackness of space, the blanket of glittering stars filled the cockpit windows. He reached to send them into light speed only to feel Chewie's massive furry hand. Wide-eyed, he looked at the Wookie who patted his hand as he pulled away, looking back at him with kindness as he relinquished control. Gesturing for him to punch it, Chewie chuckled as they were flooded with blinding light and thrown backwards, thundering into light speed.

Looking into his mind, sharing what he felt and saw, she could feel that he was welcoming her to do so. Pure joy. Peace. Freedom. Love. Innocence. Hope. Fear. Loss. It was it all there, and his joy was amplified by knowing he was not feeling any of it alone.

 

Feeling the ship settle into it's course, Ben sat back with a sigh, turning his head and smiling at Chewbacca. 

"I never thought-"

Cutting him off, Chewbacca patted him on the head and left the cockpit. Sliding into the copilot seat, Rey pulled her knees to her chest shivering. Deep space was cold. Reaching behind him, he pulled the long black cape from his seat, covering her with it. 

"Is that better?" He said speaking softly. Nodding yes, she pulled it tighter and smiled into his sparkling eyes. 

"I love watching you fly. I do not think you have ever been more beautiful to me." She wasn't comfortable using words to be so intimate, he was much better at it, but when she did his response was always shy. His cheeks flushed as he looked her up and down. 

"Come here." He said as he opened up his lap to her."It's much warmer over here." He smiled.

*********SMUT WARNING************

 

Standing up and moving to sit on him, his hand stopped her. 

"Take off your clothes, leave the cape on."

"I will freeze." She flatly protested.

"No, I promise you will not." His voice had that extra low vibration when he was aroused and ravenous. "Now, start with your sweater, take it off for me."

All of the hair on her body stood up.

"If you do not want to take it off, I can do it for you." He said with a wicked smile.

"What are you waiting for, Captain Solo." She replied coyly and as the title sunk in, she could see his muscles flex. 

"Yes, that is Captain Solo to you." He smiled as her pants fell to the floor.

"That is a nice trick." She giggled.

"I have more, but you will have to be good if you want to see them." He laughed, half serious.

"I have some tricks of my own." She said, challenging him

"Oh you do?" He doubled down.

"I do." She said seriously. 

Calling his bluff, she kicked her pants way as she dropped the cape and pulled her sweater over her head, and as swiftly as he used the force to pull down his pants, he felt his pants unbuckle and slide open. It felt like her hand was wrapped around his cock and all he could was look into her intense stare with surprise. Suddenly his head was pushed backwards, pressed against the cushioned chair, and it felt like her energy had become tentacles twisting up his legs, pulling them apart. 

Gracefully, Rey fell to her knees in front of him, her back to the controls. Eyes heavy, he rolled his head, as her lips wrapped around him. 

"Is...this...a...reward?" He moaned.

"Ummmhmmmm..." She hummed against him. 

"Rey....it's to much....I just can't-"

Pulling away, but continuing to stroke him, she smiled up at him as she rubbed the head of his cock against her soft mouth. 

"Come here!" 

She couldn't fight him, and didn't care to, as he pulled her on top of him. Surprised as he sat her backwards with her body facing the glass looking outward as the tunneled through space, she grabbed the base of his cock guiding it inside as he bucked his hips to meet her. Settling her body on top of it, she drew in a deep breath, focusing on enjoying the feeling of his girth stretching her open, filling her completely. Roughly massaging her buttocks, he eased her into a fluid rhythm, her hips undulating against the sweet pleasure of being connected to him. 

Sitting forward, his arms reached around her, one hand clasped around her neck and the other exploring between her legs, using his fingers to spread her folds and massage until he found the spot that made her body jerk from the sudden intensity. 

"Ohhhhhh Ben.....right there." She gasped.

Lightly biting her shoulder, she began to writhe uncontrollably. No longer shivering from the cold, her skin had a light layer of perspiration, and he could feel the beads of his sweat tickle as they dropped down his forehead and neck. Sweat was collecting under her breasts, under the roundness of her buttocks, behind her knees, and even her feet were hot from the building pleasure that felt like a rubber band being slowly stretched to it's breaking point.

Slamming her hands on the control panel, she pulled her torso away from his grip, dropping her head as she worked her body against his. Sweeping his hands down her back and over her thighs, his strong fingers pressed into her muscles, guiding her body faster and faster as he pumped his hips off of the seat. 

Pulling her back against his chest, he bent her knees positioning her feet on either side him on the seat. 

Rey's eyes rolled back in her head as she let her body go. It was all too much, watching the ship speed forward, the feeling of him stretching her open as his hips pumped, the smell of his hot skin, the rough texture of his tunic scraping her back.  He was reading her mind,  and as he slid his fingers that were wet from her juices against the throbbing of her tongue that was aching and needing to be touched, her mouth closed around them as her body froze.

Feeling her body tense and flex, every muscle in her body turned hard as she held her breath. Sensing her orgasm, he began to pound his hips into her with all of his strength, making her cry out in deep gutteral moans. 

The cockpit, the memories, the space, her body, the smell of her sex, all of it made his cock erupt with such power that his ears began to ring and his sight faded in and out. 

Both of them squeezed their eyes shut, enjoying the rush.

"I feel like two teenagers in the back of my parent's speeder." He laughed while regaining his breath.

Turning her body to face him, she kissed him tenderly. The feeling of her bare breasts rubbing against the roughness of his tunic gave her shivers, and he return her kiss with a feverish intensity.

"This is our ship and we can do whatever we want on it."

Wrapping his arms around her into a tight embrace, he sighed into her mouth.


	22. Mother, I can feel you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always imagined Leia to be a feisty old woman and if given the opportunity to reconnect with Ben that they would be more alike than we imagine. There is a lot of unfinished business between those two, and sadly with Carrie Fisher's passing, we will never really know what was planned for the two of them on screen.

Cradling her in his arms, Rey slept soundly against his beating heart, wrapped up in his cloak. Hearing the door open, he stretched his neck.

"She is sleeping....we are almost there." Ben spoke softly, not wanting to disturb her. "We will come to get you when we are approaching."

Chewie reached down and gently touched Rey's sleeping face, nodded and turned away, returning to his work repairing all sorts of issues still lingering from the neglectful years the ship spent rotting in the desert, a never ending task list that continued to grow. When they arrived on Naboo he would be able to get the parts he needed and even some extra help.

Smoothing her wild hair with his cheek, he settled his head against hers letting his eyes close while listening to the humming of the engines.Feeling a prickling sensation, his skin puckered into small bumps, and he could feel the rumbling pull of the force massaging at the base of his neck. Muffling all sound, he could hear only her distant voice reaching to him.

 _I am on my way....I am almost there....please...do not give up on me...._ he reached back.

Her energy was weak, and knowing what it took to communicate this way, he immediately pushed back,sending a powerful wave in response, hoping it would calm her. She was panicked, searching for him, lost and confused. He could see her wandering in a fog, using her arms to hack away at the opaque whiteness, drowning in a sea of multiplying clouds. 

_Mother....rest. Feel me....._

Sharing a memory, he let his thoughts flow towards her. A vision of her young and wearing a long white dress, with her thin arms wrapped around him. Even in his early teens, he desperately cherished those moments, when she disconnected from her work and focused only on him. Despite her fear, her eyes were always filled with boundless love. And he shared another vision of hope, of his arms wrapped around her tiny body, holding her close to make her feel safe.

 _Don't you dare give up now....not after everything we have been through. You hang on for me._ _I have never asked for anything from you.....don't you let go._

Alerted by the alarm signaling their exit from light speed, Rey stirred and fluttered her eyes.

"What, what is wrong?" She asked concerned.

"It is nothing, we need to hurry. My love, go to the bunks and get dressed. I will bring us in from here."

"OK..... are you sure you are ok?" She lingered.

"Yes. I promise. I will be OK. We can talk when we land."

"It's Leia. I can feel it too." She stared off. "Yes, I will get ready."

Leaving the cockpit, Ben was left alone watching to focus on the ship, the controls, everything but the ticking clock.

Riffling through the drawers, Rey found a towel and some sort of water-less cleanser. Wiping down her skin, her eyes were caught by the sight of a small bundle of papers. 

"Paper?" Rey looked at it like it was a relic.

Nobody used paper. Nobody even knew how to write, it was a long lost art that only the elite were privileged enough to learn. Gently pulling at the corner, the bundle fell open and the papers tumbled from their wrap. Pulling them out, she examined each sheet. Some were colorful drawings of water and sun and what looked like little people. Some were scribbles, shaky lines and messy spilled ink, and the more she dug, the more refined and smooth the strokes became. Near the bottom of the stack she could see the perfectly measured and placed letters, the smooth flow of the ink that spelled out words she had seen before, from the holos she stole to learn to fly. 

Next to the pile was a little wood carving of what looked like the figure of a woman and a dark brown lock of hair.

These were Han's belongings, things he had kept hidden away in a drawer. The handwriting was Ben's and the sheets of paper were gifts he had given to his father. Han had kept them all of these years, never letting go of the deeply buried hope that his son would return to him and that his wife would forgive him for his weakness. 

Delicately placing the items back in the drawer, she made a mental note to show it to Ben. Quickly finishing wiping down her body, she slipped on her first order issued clothes.

 _The second thing I am going to do is try to find something else to wear. These clothes make my skin crawl._ Rubbing her belly, she was reminded of the steady rapid heartbeat that was beating at twice the speed as hers. 

 _I hope you never have to fight the way your father and I have had to....I want your life to be easier...to be filled with nothing but love._  

 

"We must be careful and try to not bring attention to ourselves. You were right, the falcon would be expected, not my ship."

"Wait, are you admitting I was right about something?"

He shot her a frown.

"Sir, your grace, I am so sorry for the intrusion." 

Waving his hand, the guard relaxed.

" You will bring me some clothing, for the lady and for me. You will let Princess Leia know that an important visitor is here to see her. You will do it as fast as possible."

"Yes, of course, as fast as possible." The dazed guard turned on his heel and marched out to the landing pad giving orders.

Once they were dressed in more appropriate clothing, both for the climate and to blend in, they were escorted to the main palace. Surrounded by armed guards, random onlookers would have to strain to see them obscured by the rows of men. 

"Take her to my suite. Chewie, please go with her." His commands were so confident and cold, like the facade of Kylo Ren had returned as an armor protecting the Ben she loved from the political bee hive that swarmed around them. Knowing there was little time before word would spread that he was present, he quickly rattled off a list of commands to the surrounding servants and guards, like he had done it before, like it was a natural skill.

Kissing her on her forehead he sent her away with Chewie, knowing full well that she could protect herself, but never wanting her to be alone in a strange place. Naboo was not strange to Chewie, having been there countless times and thinking of it as a second home. Guiding her to the royal suites, Rey was impressed that he knew the way. 

"You have been here before? Of course you have. I have a lot to learn, Chewie." She confessed.

Chewie wrapped a long arm around her and chatted to her softly, trying to be as quiet as possible. 

"I am scared, Chewie. I am scared for Ben. What if we are too late?" She said, her eyes glistening from tears. Chewie could only pat her back and head, hoping that gave her some sense of comfort.

 

Placing his hands on the large carved doors, Ben pushed against their weight feeling the swish of the air as they pushed inward. In the center of the room was a large bed surrounded by vase after vase of flowers. The whole room smelled like his childhood, a mixture of wild plants and sweet pink buds. 

_Mother._

Propped up with pillows, Leia laid with her eyes closed, fading in and out of consciousness. Slowly approaching the bed, he look at her frail body, dwarfed by the voluminous blankets and bedding. Her face was heavily lined, not plump and smooth as he had remembered it so many years ago. Veiny and frail, her once long thin fingers had withered to knuckles and bones. At her temples was grey mixed with brown, more grey than he had imagined. 

Touching her hand, he was shocked to feel how cold they were, and that her fingertips were turning dark as the death shadow was eating away from the outside in. So many had died by his hands and will, but nobody had ever told him about the face of slow suffering death, that most creatures die with a whimper not a yell. Death had always been under his control, deciding if and when to wield it, but now he was faced with the powerlessness of death, having no power to pause or slow it. 

"Mother, I am here." He spoke softly as he sat on the edge of the bed, no longer afraid that she would reject him. She had made it clear, as she reaching across the galaxy, that she never felt anger towards him, only regret and shame from her failures.

Opening her eyes, her eyelids were heavy and drowzy, as she focused in on his face. For a moment she laid looking at him, unable to speak, looking him up and down, marveling at the man he had become. Dark lord or not, only a mother could still feel a sense of pride after so many sins.

"Ben.....my Ben. I new you would come." She strained to speak.

"Yes....I am here. I felt you....I told you I was almost here." His voice was coaxing.

"You are all grown up.... a man. A handsome man.....your father was so proud of you."

"Mother, let's not talk about him." He looked down at her hands, lightly stroking them.

"Yes, Ben. We will. There are things you need to hear, things he can no longer tell you, but I can."

Swallowing hard, he realized how difficult this was going to be. Part of him wanted to use his power to make her sleep so he could leave and come back after he had time to think.

"Don't even think about it, young man. I might be dying but I am not dead yet. Enough running away." Her tone was firm and had a sudden surge of strength.

"How did you-? alright...alright...I am listening." He looked at her, astonished that she could read him so easily.

"Your father, you killed him... I know. I felt it. I saw it. And here you sit on the edge of my bed, my son, my only son, the light of my life, having done unspeakable things and brought unbearable pain and suffering to the galaxy-"

"Mother, if you called me here to tell me what we already know, you are wasting your time. I know my sins all too well...."

"Rey. She is with you. That girl is the only thing you have going for you." She said changing the subject.

Ben laughed and she smiled.

"Again, I think we know that."

"Really...if you screw this up-"

"You will what?" His voice took on a playful tone.

"I will haunt you like the powerful force ghost I am about to become." She stared at him soberly.

Ben was now laughing harder, throwing his head back, tickled by her directness.

"Force ghost? Mother, those are just stories."

"Nope. They are not and if you would stop being so distracted, you might open up you mind to see them."

His laughter abruptly stopped, hearing the truth in her voice. 

"Now, back to your father. It is my fault. I sent him to you... I told him to bring you home...he wouldn't have tried if I had not asked him to."

"I....wanted to.....I desperately wanted to.....I didn't know how....I didn't believe I had a choice. If i failed, we were all doomed. Snoke's wrath would have wiped all of us out."

"I know, I know.....but you had a choice...and you would have never been faced with it if I had not asked him to.....he loved you Ben. He loved you....more than he knew he could love...more than he loved me or luke or chewie or that damn ship."

Ben's eyes were filling with tears as he choked back a laugh. _That damn ship, so she feels the same way I do._

" I know, I know, he was the fun one, always taking you out on adventures, scaring me to death...you had a special bond the two of you....one I could never compete with. He understood well before I did that you were constantly under attack by powers we could not control. It was I, the one who had the power to protect you, that did not. I failed you, not your father. You thought you hated him, because you needed him, you always needed his love and approval....and you hated him because you thought he gave up on you...that he thought you were a monster. No my son, he did not. He was afraid, as I was afraid, that we would lose you.....and our fear led to bad decisions, my decision that i talked him into, to send you away. When you left, your father broke in half....and it was my fault....and I lost you both."

Ben sat next to her, taking it all in, absorbing her remorse and sorrow.

"Your father forgives you Ben. I forgive you, and the galaxy will forgive you if you become the man and leader you were born to be. It is never too late to change paths, to right our wrongs....you have been given a great gift...the girl. Have you already figured it out?

"What?"

"Don't try to fool me, I know you better than you know yourself. Have you figured her out? Where she came from, who she is?"

"She is a nobody, Mother, and I love her."

"Ben Solo, do not act dumb. If you think I do not know, you are wrong. This is not just your secret." Her voice was gaining strength and she continued to scold him.

"Yes.....yes, I know." He conceded. 

"The question is, does she?" She dug deeper.

"No." He replied, ashamed, looking at his hands.

"And why not?" She squinted her eyes at him.

"I haven't found the moment to tell her." He wasn't lying.

"Well, my son, you might want to start there...because this poor girl has been suffering her whole life waiting for a family that would never come-"

"I think she understands what she was searching for-"

"Ben, that is not enough....it's not enough!" Leia threw her hands in the air, flustered.

"I promise I will tell her....but I have some things I need to discuss with you."

"You have things to discuss with me?" She replied sarcastically.

"Yes, so much has happened....I do not have the words to explain, it would be easier if I show you. I need help"

"Alright." Leia agreed and was overwhelmed that her estranged son would seek her out for help. Rey had changed him, and she could see the flashes of the son she used to know as he began to let his guard down.

"Can I touch you?" He asked timidly.

"Ben, I am your mother and I am _not_ afraid of you." She said firmly.

Touching her temple, Ben flooded her mind with visions, feelings, and questions, trying not to overwhelm her. Her underestimated the strength of her mind. As the visions faded, she stared at him stunned.

"We have a lot to do. Get me out of this bed."

"Moth- MOM! What are you doing?" He was confused and stunned. He had accepted that this was the end, and it clearly was not. Yet another lesson that there is always a choice, even when faced with death. 

"I am getting out of this bed. This is not how this story ends, no, not my story and not yours."

"Will you please calm down. Let me get someone to help." He implored.

She was already shuffling her way around the room, picking up her jewelry and pieces of clothing.

"Help...the Princess is awake and wants to get dressed." Ben shook his head, watching the determined fiery woman that his father fell in love with emerge from the frail shell of her weak body, yelling out to alert her care takers.

"What are you sitting there for, there is time for us to be sentimental later. We have planning to do."

 "Planning?"

"YES, PLANNING! A coronation, a wedding, a birth, a war, and a rebellion....and a particular general that we need rid the galaxy of. What a time to be alive. My work isn't done yet....and yours has just begun."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My wonderful readers: I really could keep writing this story forever, I love these two characters. However, I need your input. Do you want chapters about the coronation, royal wedding, and war? Please message me or leave a comment. I would love your input.


	23. Getting dressed part 3

The great temple was filled from wall to wall with honored guests, politicians, galactic ambassadors, and even high ranking first order military officers. Leia suggested that they open it to the public, a public that was already so enthralled by the love story of their new emperor and his bride that they had crammed themselves inside, spilling out the massive carved doors down the front steps. They had begun to line the main promenade of the capital days prior, and people and creatures of all species had come from all over the galaxy just to get a glimpse of the secretive couple.

There were already whispers and gossip. Would he or wouldn't he wear a mask? And what did she look like? This orphaned homeless scavenger girl from a throw away planet? And then there were the other rumors, obviously spread by Hux's inner circle, accusing the girl of slaughtering their slain Supreme leader. Yet, despite all of the mud they tried to sling at the new couple, nothing would stick against the unlikely fairy tale

It was clear that the galaxy wanted to believe in love and nothing fueled Hux's utter disdain more for Kylo Ren. With every move against him, the young emperor had a counter move that was more calculated and prepared, as if he had been reading Hux's mind.

The sun was setting and the sky was filled with dark blue and purple clouds, with the moon already glowing in the sky. The entire temple was dark, illuminated only by the indirect lighting that lined the vast ceiling, and the foot of each pew, casting low ambient light against the carved statues and masonry. The massive stone interior was decorated with so many wild flowers that it had taken an entire week to harvest, arrange, and store them until the morning of the event.

Thick red carpeting trimmed in gold had been installed up the aisles, with the main aisle covered in white flower petals that obscured the scarlet pathway. The Emperor was adamant that it be decorated to his specifications, as it symbolized the snow that covered the ground when they met, and as only they knew, when they battled it to the death ending with him slashed open and her running for her life.

The fragrance was soft and sweet, with spikes of fresh cut green, married with the drifting smoke from the giant pedestals housing censers used to burn incense. The people of Naboo had many strange rituals and Leia had been very sensitive to ensure that every detail of the ceremony venerated their family ancestry. Of course nobody knew that he was her son. It was rumored that her son, Ben Solo, had died when Luke's academy had been destroyed by an unfortunate tragic fire that had wiped out the school and the majority of it's students.

Even Hux did not know his true identity. Snoke's manipulation to completely sever his mind from his born identity was relentless, and concealing his identity was an absolute. Giving Hux an edge over his apprentice was unwise, at least until it became necessary to fuel their rivalry further to divert their attention away from wanting all of the power for themselves.

For weeks the public was on edge, hearing reports that Leia's death was imminent, and with the sudden arrival of the young leader, she had miraculously been renewed. Maybe it was their uncanny natural connection, or the freshly drafted and delicate resolution ending the political strife between the order and the resistance, but for some reason Leia Organa Solo had risen to the occasion, digging deep to find the strength to carry on despite her failing veins. The damage to her body from the accident had deeply compromised her circulation and instead of opting to be supported by implanted machines, she chose to let the force decide when her time had come.

 

"Drink this." Leia commanded as she held out a heavy glass goblet filled with some sort of sweet and powerful liquid. "I promise, it will calm your nerves, it calms mine."

Rey listened to her, locking eyes with her while she gulped, trying to swallow her fear and terror with it. Coughing and choking, the heat from the drink spread through her chest and out her mouth.

"What is this?" She gasped in disgust. "Is it is safe for me to drink this?"

"Keep drinking, it's get better, I promise....and a little won't hurt." Leia laughed. "Child, all of this will be over soon and then all of us will be able to begin to live again." Her words trailed off, knowing that her future was unclear.

"I hope you are right." Rey whispered.

"Rey, this is our last chance to make all of this right. Just stay focused on the force and try to enjoy this a little bit. It's not every day that you become an Empress."

Rey smiled nervously. "Leia, all I want is- him," She caught herself, being so careful not to say his true name."None of this matters to me...I mean, it matters, everything is beautiful....more than I could ever dream of."

"I know it doesn't matter to you, which is why you are so worthy of it...which is why you need to do this, because it is for him, and you, and your children to come. It is the only way to ensure your continued safety."

Looking at the floor, Rey knew she was telling the truth. This was the only way.

"Now, are you ready to get dressed?" Leia smiled.

It took four attendants to steam, press, and prepare her gown, along with the countless round the clock hours it took from a team of craftsman to complete it in such a short period of time. By her request, no droids were used to create it, even the fabric. Rey knew very little about gowns and fashion, but she knew that she wanted the train to be decorated in a specific pale purple flower embroidery and the satin to have a pale grey irridesence. She wanted to feel like she was wearing the gown on Ahch-to, given to her by the mysterious creature that lead the care takers of the island. She wanted to be comforted by their secret, that they had already stood together and without distractions committed themselves to their love.

Wearing her hair in a modified three bun style, woven with glittering gems, the buns were stacked and full. Opting to not wear a veil over her face, she continued to frustrate the team appointed to dress her, until they negotiated that she would have points of her veil pinned into her buns, allowing the sheer weightless fabric to drift behind her. In her hands she would carry an arrangement of grasses and flowers from Takodana, with seashells she had collected from Ahch-to concealed in the base.

Seated, to save strength, Leia oversaw the entire process as she continued to drink. 

"Now, I have a gift. Please, get the box on the bed." Leia closed her eyes, taking a few deep breaths.

Opening the square velvet box, inside was a round halo-like adornment, just big enough to sit on her top bun.

"You will be crowned tonight, but until then, this was my mothers and I want you to wear it." Leia's eyes had filled with tears for the mother she had never met, the woman who had given her life for love, the love for her children and the love for her husband. 

Rey touched the delicate metal with her fingertips, feeling the flash of impressions bound to it. 

"She was beautiful, wasn't she, and kind." Rey said in a far away voice.

"That is what they say." Leia said sadly.

"Thank you, I will cherish it always."

"It is time. There is much yet to be done." Leia looked introspective and concealed her worry from Rey as best as she could. So many pieces needed to fall in place perfectly, sighing deeply, she felt herself let go and give it all to the force. Everything was set in motion and it was now out of her hands.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	24. The red string of fate

Standing side by side, the temple was quiet, filled only with the chanting of the temple holy men, following the ancient Naboo ritual. Turning to face each other, their hands were bound with a red band, symbolizing their belief in the red string of fate or destiny, to be bound eternally.

When prompted to kiss, instead of the awkward and shy man she agreed to join while the Supremacy burnt and Snoke's severed body stiffened, he was reserved and polished. Dressed in all black, his tunic was trimmed with red and gold embroidery, the fabric and seams executed so perfectly that it laid smoothly against his muscular broad shoulders. The black matte metal of his saber blended against his textured thick belt. Combined with his polished boots, he looked even taller and more imposing, like a dark prince. Hanging in well manicured waves, his hair shined in the dim light like black glass, and his eyes had the composed strength and confidence expected of a true leader.

Not looking a bit nervous, he was expressionless. Squeezing her hand in his, he opened their connection sharing the singular memory of her from the island temple when they were alone, the moment he asked her to sit still so he could remember it forever. His memory was so clear and idealized, she could see the flecks of green and orange in her eyes and the ethereal glow of her skin as the sunset illuminated her skin. Feeling what he felt, she could no longer hold back the tears. Feeling how he had wanted to touch her, but even then, was afraid that something in that connection would hurt her, that she was strong and fragile and miraculous, and his. She felt how he longed to be united as one, mind, body, and soul. She could feel the agony and aching from his depths, the lingering fragments of shame and guilt, and how she was the only thing that had ever truly mattered to him in his life.

Taking a deep breath, the truth about the light inside of him flooded through her, and it was a wave so beautiful that it felt like seeing colors her mind could never imagine and sounds that echoed through space and time from the past, present, and future. The truth, of a cracked soul of a broken boy, sobbing and giving up, and so completely unaware of his true power that he subconsciously severed a part of himself out of hope that the force would forgive him for being so weak. Casting it away as he squeezed his big brown eyes against the flowing tears, he surrendered to the pain and let the shadows of darkness engulf him.

He shared what he saw when they touched hands, the truth of that sacred piece bursting into existence as a flashing light, a pulse gaining strength and power, blooming into the beacon of hope and light that was Rey. He showed her, what he had should have shown her so long ago, that her parents did not matter, that she was perfectly made for him, that in fact, she was truly a part of him. And that like her, he needed her to join him by choice.

Hearing the collective sigh, the strange energy connecting them was felt throughout the room, and smiling, he used his free hand to lightly touch her cheek to brush away her tears. The outline of their figures could be made out from the open doors and steps, and Leia smiled as she saw spectators stretching and struggling to get a glimpse of the rare magic unfolding in front of them.

 _Saving what we love,_ she thought to herself, _saving love itself. It cannot be beaten, or destroyed. It can be forgotten, hidden, buried, but it cannot die._ Taking a deep breath, she looked at the floor, deep in thought, until the last words were said and the bells began to ring from the towers, signalling it was time for them to kiss.

Placing one palm against her lower back and one at the back of her neck, he looked down into her eyes, much like he did when he held out his saber and told her that he knew what he needed to do, as Snoke was so sure that he would ignite it through her tiny body. But his resolve had been for her, for the vision they had shared, and for the faith that she would join him.  Bending down, his lips lightly brushed hers, and waiting until she closed her eyes, and her arms wrapped around his neck melting her body and mouth into him, he gave the signal to his mother.

Slowly, Rey could feel the room warm, and a fluttering brightness against her closed eyelids.

Grazing his face against hers and positioning his mouth next to her ear he whispered."Open your eyes, Rey." 

Slowly opening her eyes, she could not stop her physical response, and the breath caught in her throat and the tears poured from her eyes. The altar was aglow with golden candlelight, hundreds of candles in the hands of nameless faces looking up at her in reverence. Continuing to flood the space with light, one after the other, they continued to share the flame that started at the altar, with every person in attendance holding a white candle in her honor. The light continued to grow and flow through the crowd, like a wave of liquid gold, out the temple doors, traveling down the steps and up the promenade.

"You are my light, the very light itself... my love, my very breath." He whispered against her ear, and kissing her softly, Rey finally felt the present as solid and clear.

Feeling the light ripple through the crowds, Leia closed her eyes, praying to the force to protect those that were now putting themselves in harms way, that at that very moment the rebel fighters, led by Poe Dameron, would be surrounding Hux's ship, Finn would give the secret order that would ripple through the first order trooper ranks, and in a matter of minutes the First Order would fall out of the hands of the evil that had for too long gripped the destiny of the galaxy. Their destinies were now in their hands, ushering in a new era, balanced, and in the grey.

Turning toward the people, Rey and Ben lowered to their knees.  Two gilded crowns emerged from behind the altar, carried on red velvet pillows. Hers was delicate, encrusted with countless sparkling gems and grey crystals, his was a simple gold, round and bold. Staring forward, as if in a trance, Rey and Ben held hands, feeling the disturbances in the force and the visions of the struggle that was underway, knowing all along that this very moment was orchestrated to be a distraction. Swinging their censors,the temple holy men surrounded them in a cloud of white fragrant smoke, the bell towers clanged and vibrated the stone surfaces. Transfixed, the people were oblivious to the military action that was taking place as they embraced the very thing that the Empire, the Order, and every other dark force movement had tried to snuff out and failed.

Love.


	25. Brushing Fingertips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SMUT WARNING!!!! This chapter and the next will be really smutty but poetic and beautiful. SO, wait for chapter 27 if you do not like the intimacy. The story will continue...do not fret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Pepper for inspiring me to write more. You wanted a smut warning, and this is for you. SMUT WARNING. This is a short chapter as a thank you for your support and appreciation for my work. Readers, you will never know what it means to us writers to hear your feedback.

The sounds of the music and laughter bounced against the shiny stone surfaces, becoming faint echoes as they approached their doors. Flowing like streams of silver clouds, Ben watched, deliberately staying several steps behind her, reaching and brushing her fingertips as she stretched her arm to guide him down the dark cavernous hall. The intermittent contact felt like being tickled with feathers, building the already thick sexual tension.  Skin on skin, he felt his heart surge and squeeze, only to be released as they drifted apart, traveling deeper into the shadows. 

Examining her details, coveting against her turned back, he was systematically creating his plan once he tore her dress off. Focusing, she pulled away again, and he silently admitted that she was a drug, his greatest weakness. Brushing again, the point of contact was like an electrified magnet, holding his entire being in such a brief second in time, only to be cut off, ravenously hunting to possess her singular touch again. 

Abruptly, he grabbed her wrist, pulling her against the wall. Forcefully pressing himself against her, holding her arm above her head, he closed in on her mouth, using his knee to push her legs apart underneath her dress. Melting into the wall, she submitted to his yearning and returned his kiss with aching thirst , drinking in his mouth and hot wet breath.

Reaching between her legs, he searched through the layers of fabric. 

"I hate wearing a dress" _,_ she whispered as he pulled away.

Encircling her cinched waist, his hands overlapped and dwarfed her. 

"I like this", he said as he squeezed, thinking about how her hips moved, about their bodies moving together. 

"You make me so wet." She gasped. 

"Hmmm...already....," His eye lids fluttered as his hand returned to dig.

"So wet....," She whispered softly, pushing her hips into his palm.

"Get me to the bedroom or we are going to end up naked in the hall....and we are not alone...or could be found." She said as she closed her eyes, falling into cloudy dreaminess.

Falling to his knees, he swiftly threw her skirts in the air, sliding beneath them.  Pulling down her panties and planting his mouth on the collecting pool of her juices, sucking and lapping, Rey supported herself against the wall.

"Ben....Gods, Ben....I don't care....do it now. Let them find us." She moaned and clawed at the marble, using one hand to find his covered head and grind it into her.

He felt possessed, driven by animalistic lust, flicking his tongue, opening his mouth and wrapping his full lips to completely consume the soft mound of her sex. Driving his tongue inside of her opening, she gushed on his tongue as her muscles quivered and pulsed. Breathing in her scent, his imprint was mixed within the fragrance, remnants of the last time he filled her. 

Losing control of her body, her knees buckled, as he caught her with his shoulders. Crying out, the sounds of her ecstasy danced over the ornate corridor, massaging every surface, rippling over the sculptures, like their eyes and smiles were alive and listening. Feeling her climax, he intensified his pressure and focused his mouth, latching on to the hard nub, shattering her from the inside out. Bordering on screams, the pleasure surged and amplified, rushing through her entire body, gripping it in an intensity that was equally painful.

"Stop....STOP! No MORE! Please, it's too much!"

Releasing the pressure, he slid two of his thick fingers inside of her quivering pussy, working it in slow but firm strokes, as she came down.

Finding his way out of the maze of fabrics, his eyes met hers. Chest heaving, and covered in a layer of perspiration, she smiled and sighed. As he stood, the shadow of his body drifted over her.

"Kiss me Rey." He commanded.

Reaching for his neck, she crushed her lips into his, feeling the slip of her pussy juices on his mouth and face. Rolling her head, side to side, she plunged her tongue inside, pulling it out to lick the wetness of his his lips. 

"Take me to the bed...now."

Lifting her over his shoulder, he carried her the rest of the way. Kicking open the door and charging toward the bed, he tossed her into the mounds of blankets and pillows. Feeling like he was suffocating, he stripped off his clothes, tearing at the priceless fabric without care and throwing it to the floor. Forcing his pants open, he stopped to look at her, glittering from the mounds of sheer fabric that framed her like a halo. 

Climbing over her, he began again. 


	26. Halo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SMUT WARNING: Wedding night sex. It's about to get real.

Sitting back on his knees, he carefully spread the gauzy glittering layers around her, pulling it up around and over her face. Pushing the underskirts around her waist, he revealed her panty-less lower half, running his fingertips over her tanned long legs, stroking between, and back down again. Twitching, she shifted her hips, instinctively offering herself without thinking.

Leaning forward, he lowered his weight on top of her, resting his arms on either side of her veiled face. Pressing against the silky transparency, the warmth of his breath pushed through the fine mesh, the moistness of his mouth awakening her lips. Licking them lightly, she tilted her chin toward him, silently begging for his touch. Lowering his gaze, up and down his eyes observed her body, and she felt the flexing of his stomach muscles and the smooth skin of his hard cock slide against her thigh.

Kissing her through the veil, she opened her mouth slightly, as his tongue licked the surface trying to dip into the space beneath. Turning her head to the side, opening up the long line from her face to her neck, she let out a soft moan as he positioned his hips over hers. Touching her temple, he ran his palm down to her bodice, massaging her breasts through the corseted top.

Careful to keep her on the edge, he teased with the head of his member, gently working it against her wetness. It felt like yet another layer holding him back from her, keeping his skin from fully covering hers, and she was quickly feeling the agony of his wicked and well planned torture.

"I love you....and I love your mind the most." She moaned.

Covering her mouth with his hand, he slipped inside of her.

"Nooo....I think you love this the most." He said calmly, as his girth squeezed into her tightness, and her body spread for him.

"Yes....yes...."

"Rey, tell me you love this." He abruptly stopped rocking his hips, watching her buck against him, her body begging to be filled.

"Ben.....I thought they would never stop talking.....all night I wanted this....I needed you inside of me."

"Awwww....you needed this?" He toyed with her, using his thumb to rub her clit in slow deliberate circles, wetting it with his mouth to make it slip and glide.

"Yessss...." she moaned.

"Just this?" He continued, increasing the pressure and speed.

"No.....all of it... all of you."

"You mean this...." He said lasciviously, as he thrust his cock, causing her body to jerk upwards and eliciting a loud cry.

"YES!" She screamed out as the flood of pleasure rocked her core.

"I want you to keep count.....that is one." He laughed as he watched her writhe and shake, continuing his assault on her clit.

"You....you.... are a wicked....sadistic.....delicious man." She cried.

"Delicious....an interesting choice of words, my love." His voice had the soothing quality he used when he was about to do something incredibly nasty. Falling over her, his strong hands ripped a hole in the veil, creating enough space to expose her mouth.

"Delicious you say?" he said as he grabbed the base of his cock, dripping from the watery gush of orgasm, into her mouth. Holding her head against the pillow, he drove it deep into her mouth, feeling the tip hit the back of her throat that opened without protest.

Rey responded by sucking it clean, using her tongue to sweep against the length, gathering the slippery liquid and swallowing. Freeing her hands, she wrapped both around him, working up and down as she varied pressure and suction. Sliding his hand behind her neck, the layers of fabric bunched up as he lifted, and her face looked like she was rising out of a sparkling pool of water, like he was defiling an angel. The sheer darkness of the thought made his cock erupt into a geyser of hot cum, that she enthusiastically swallowed.

Pulling it out, mid spurt, he shot it over her lips and veil. Watching it destroy the symbol of purity, he felt like there were hot tentacles swirling in his groin and a dark cloud growing and surrounding them. When he thought he was spent, it kept going, on and on, like a rope being drawn out of the depths of his loins. The sight, sounds, and pleasure was so darkly euphoric, he wanted to fall into it, to fall into the oblivion carrying her down with him; his dark bride.

Huffing and sucking in deep breaths, he was dizzy and collapsed next to her. Pulling the skirt from her face, she smiled while stroking his sweaty forehead, showering his face with kisses.

Attempting to stand, she wobbled and steadied herself on the edge of the bed. Reaching behind her back, she pulled at the closures of the bodice, releasing it and sighing at the relief as she expanded her ribs. Pulling it the floor, she looked at the gown. Nothing would ever compare to their time on the island, but this had it's own value in their story and she felt comfort in her own smile.

Climbing on top, she felt their bodies connect as she shifted her hips. Sharing that quiet moment, she reached for his hands, letting the happy tears fall. Locking their fingers, she pulled his arms until their hands rested against her heart. Feeling the thumping against his skin, she began to move and roll her hips, riding him slowly, working to feel every last sensation, like plucking the strings of an instrument. Releasing his fingers, his hands stroked the length of her body.

Laying back and taking it all in, he was overwhelmed by her beauty, by the vision of this resilient, complex, and bright creature , that for all of his errors, sins, and flaws, loved him. His only thought was to give until he had nothing left, to fill her, take her, devour her, and begin again. For the rest of their lives.


	27. The nightmare

Covered in sweat, her body stuck to the sheets, turning them transparent. So many faces, suffering nameless people, crying out in pain and agony. Finn, his face sweaty and splattered with blood, standing over the body of a man with red hair, a man whose last words were cursing Kylo Ren. She could feel the man's soul let go and leave his body, taking his bitter hatred and vendetta with him, screaming as if he was being dragged into blackness. She saw the throne room, almost like the one where it all began, and Finn standing in front of it. Finn's dark eyes staring back at her, fierce, full of revenge, and of mourning. She could hear him saying her name over and over again, echoing through the halls, and drifting like a fine mist, calling to her. 

Poe, a man she hardly knew, skillfully leading resistance fighters into a ball of fire, enduring heavy loses. Body parts and ships blown to bits, floating in space.

She saw blood on her hands, blood all around her, red blotting out the world, creeping over her face, suffocating her.

 

"No!" She yelled as her whole body jerked up. "No no no.....noooo." Covering her face, she doubled over, rocking back and forth, letting the sobs purge through her. Touching her back, his hand was warm and almost large enough to touch both of her shoulder blades. 

"I know." He whispered. "I know." 

Lacking the words to console her, he continued to rub her back, letting her cry, feeling all of it wash back and forth through their bond. 

"You don't feel it, do you? You don't ache for them?" She sobbed, turning to look at him through the moonlight.

"You are upset...I do feel it. I feel all of it..but it is like looking through a window."

"Like it can't touch you? Or do you not care?" She said coldly.

"I care....but it was necessary. All of it was in order to finally have peace...and peace has a high price regardless if it is light or dark...there is always a price...." His voice trailed off as he continued to stroke her skin, falling into deep thought.

She wanted to shake him off, but she didn't. Instead she closed her eyes, reaching out and quieting her mind.

_Finn.....please....don't hate me......I am so sorry.....thank you....my dear friend. Thank you._

"You think I do not hear you, feel you, reaching for him?" Ben's voice had taken on a bitterness, a jealousy. 

"I know you can and I do not care. They are my friends....have you ever had friends?" She responded, clearly trying to hurt him.

"Let's not allow this to ruin a beautiful evening..." He tried to ignore her and change the subject.

"No really, I want to know, have you ever had friends?" She continued to push, feeling a protectiveness over them.

"YES. I have." He replied, holding back the smolder that could quickly spark into a rage.

"Oh.... I forgot....you turned on them." She said, hitting him as hard she she could with her pain.

"Like you have?" He hit back.

"Ben....that....that...is...I do not know how to respond." She cowered as she felt the accelerating energy rushing off of him.

"Just say it, I am a horrible monster." Every syllable cut. 

"You-" She felt her heart squeeze, with anger and with sympathy.

"Choose your words carefully....you cannot take them back...and I don't want your worthless sympathy," He said like he was spitting them." Yes, I had friends, brothers and sisters, and all of us were entangled in a game  that we could not see. Some chose unwisely, some chose to survive. I live with it every...single...day. I do not need anybody to remind me of the choices I have made. This choice, this plan, was for you, for our unborn son, and for all of the unborn yet to come. It has to end. All of it. This cycle must stop. It was all for you....and your beloved friends know it....and you need to see it too. Let the blood be on my hands, I have enough already."

"Ben..don't say that-"

"No Rey, I know what I am. Do you know what you are? Who you are? I thought I showed you tonight. You are the best of me, all of the good and all of the light of me. If all I do for the rest of my life is protect you, love you, and ensure that what is ours will endure... I would do it again and again...and again." 

 

 

 


	28. Promise you will remember me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter finally took this story to 8000 hits, something I never imagined would happen or was possible when I started writing in February. Thank you to ALL of you that have been reading this story and showing support. This chapter is very personal because I wrote it based on my real life experience losing my mother. I hope it hit the emotional tone I was looking for.

Raindrops danced across the water disrupting the serene flatness and Leia's thoughts. 

Every morning she had Ben take her to her chair at the edge of the lake, where she could reach out to the world with her senses. It was really all she had left. Unable to walk without a cane, unable to feel with her fingertips and feet, unable to move quickly without losing her breath, there were days that she believed the force had forgotten about her. With every passing day her heart weakened further, but her resolve was stronger than ever, refusing to let go until she was certain that Anakin would remember her.

The doctors marveled at her, unsure how she was still alive, giving full credit to the love she had for her grandson. 

"That child is the reason she is alive, you know that?" It was the same conversation after every examination or incident requiring medical attention. 

Ben and Rey shared their lives with her, aware that the peace and prosperity of the galaxy, the strength of their rule, had only been possible because of her political cunning and military strategy. When the moment arrived to put it all on the line, she did, using every resource and connection from her entire lifetime to bring down the fracture within the Order and solidify the rule of her son. Finally, she was certain what was in his heart, trusting him to always do what needed to be done for the good of the galaxy. 

Renaming it the "New Order" seemed fitting. It was a new order of things, a new energy that was balanced and grey, and a new hope for the existence she knew was always possible. 

Watching the rain move with the clouds, she reached out her hands to feel the water on her skin. Her nerve endings were dying and she could feel her physical senses fading as her spiritual power within the force grew. Adept at pushing them away, she could feel Luke and others close to her body, and in those rare vulnerable moments if she closed her eyes she could feel Han. 

"I have to keep you away from me....don't you understand. I am not ready." She would say out loud. Chalking it up to old age and confusion, her servants would try to calm her. 

"I do not need calming. All of you...you think I am crazy....I promise you that they are here....you just can't see them." She would argue. "I am sure you are laughing at me Han....laugh it up. You have officially made me the resident crazy old lady!" 

Sending for Ben, he would always come right away no matter what he was doing. Just seeing him walk through the doors would light up her eyes, like it was the first time she saw him walk or the first time he flew the falcon alone. She could see Han in his face, the strong nose and jaw, that wavy hair, and she would smile that knowing smile, so proud of her son. 

"Leave us. I am going to spend some time with my mother." He would give them the signal to leave, giving them a look of appreciation for their understanding. 

Sitting down next to her they would sit in silence, watching the water, sharing the energy only a mother and son could feel.

"When you are close to me, I know he is close. I see him in you, Ben. I see him in your face and in your eyes.... I miss him so." She felt the hot tears stream down her face."And soon, I am going to have to let him, let all of them in, and it will be time. You know this?....I am running out of time. Ha, I have been living on borrowed time...maybe it is a consolation from the force." She laughed.

"Mother, I cannot lie to you. I was never good at it." He looked down and laughed, taking her small wrinkled hand into his. "I know. I can feel it."

Sharing a moment of truth,there were no more words to be said, and they locked eyes knowing it was time to let it all go. Calling for Rey to bring the baby, he continued to stroke her hand. 

"Mother, you have nothing to fear...nothing to worry about....and after all of the pain and suffering...after all of our mistakes and sins....it is all going to OK. You did it....you finished what was started so long ago...and who knew it wouldn't be Luke....or I...that it would be you...and I wouldn't have it any other way. I am proud to be your son. "

"Ben...it is I who am proud." 

Hearing the giggles and laughter approaching, Leia turned her head trying to look over her shoulder.

"Gra ma, Gra ma!" Anakin squealed as he ran into her arms. It took all of her strength, but she managed to lift the pudgy toddler into her lap. Gathering him against her chest, she pressed her cheek against his blonde curly hair, breathing in the heavenly scent of innocence.

"My boy....oh my boy." She said as she rocked him back and forth. "My love."

Rey looked at Ben with worry. Returning the expression, he couldn't find the courage to try to reassure her. 

"Mother, look at the beautiful sunset." Rey pointed as she placed her hands on Leia's shoulders.

"Oh yes, my Rey, hahaha, my Rey of light...yes, it is golden just like you." She said smiling at her. "Now Anakin, show me your muscles....oh yes, look at how strong you are. Strong like your daddy and his daddy before him. Have I ever told you about grandpa? He was the best pilot in the galaxy, just like you will be someday.....and my father....my father was a pilot too...and he was a great jedi...the strongest the galaxy had ever seen....until your mother and father were born. You are special Anakin...the most special boy that has ever been." 

Continuing to tell him stories, the little boy looked up at her with his wide blue eyes, full of wonder.

"Anakin, promise me something...."

"Yes, Gra Ma...." He said playing with her giant eternity knot ring. "I want you to close your eyes...and I want you to imagine my face."

"Yes Gra Ma."

"And now, I want you to feel my hug, and I want you to remember how it feels...make it like a picture in your head...like the ones we draw....but this is of Gra Ma hugging you."

"Yes Gra Ma, I can see it... I can feel it." His little face was full of magic.

"And repeat after me....Gra Ma is always with you...always."

"Gra Ma is always with me.....I love you Gra Ma....don't go." His eyes were filling with tears.

"Why would you think I was going somewhere?" Leia said dumbfounded. 

"The man told me..."

"What man?"

"That man." He said pointing at the luminous figure taking shape in the distance, on the other side of the lake.

"Huh....well my love...do you know who that is?"

"Yes. I do." He said nodding with a big toothy smile. 

"Well...he is here to take me with him....he has been waiting too long-"

"He told me we could share-" 

"He did? Hahaha, that is so funny! Your grandfather hated to share. Yes baby, we can share.... I will always be with you...say it again...please."

They stayed there, rocking, watching the sunset one last time before Leia asked for them to leave her.

 

"Han....I know you are there." 

"Your worship, I thought you would never-"

"Stop it with the smooth stuff, my hotshot."

"Me?"

"I guess the force made you an honorary guest." She laughed.

"Funny how that happens when you are the chosen father of the chosen one....it comes with it's perks."

"I am ready, my love. I have missed you terribly. I think my work is done....I am so weary....so tired....I want to rest."

She could feel the energy swell around her, and could make out his arms wrapping around her.

"Han, do you think he will remember me?" Her eyes filled with tears.

"Princess, how could he forget you?....it is time...come with me...finally, come with me."

 

 

 


	29. When he sleeps

"Ben, you cannot be overprotective. You must let the boy live and grow without suffocating him." Rey pleaded.

"Rey. Enough. Something isn't right, I can feel it." He said as he sat on the edge of the bed, his naked body illuminated by cluster of candles by the window.

"Ben, Anakin is not you....he is with us." She said sadly, reflecting on the memories of his childhood that he had shared with her.

"I did not say he was...but I can sense...something..." His mind was already pulling away from her, reaching out into the space between them and Anakin.

Sighing under her breath, her fingertips grazed his back as he quietly rose from their bed. Slipping on his long black sleeping robe, he strode across their room like he always did, with complete lack of awareness of his physical surroundings. Muscular, yet at times awkward due to his size, he lumbered across the room.

"Don't stay up all night watching him again, please. Come back to me." 

"Of course." He smiled as he slowly shut the door, never breaking his gaze.

The corridors of the palace were dimly lit, casting shadows over the ancient sculptures and mosaics. Catching the air as he walked, his robe flared behind him, and from above he looked like a dark deity, with skin so white it glowed. 

Entering the Nursery, he could already hear the light toddler chatter mixed with another familiar voice, a voice he had not heard in years. Cautiously, he slipped through the darkness, observing and assessing. Without his saber he would have to rely on his force powers if needed.

"Your Daddy, oh yes, your Daddy. I loved him most of all. He was the most special, the most powerful...haha...until you." The voice was soft and kind, warm, rippling out in waves.

"I love my Daddy....he can do anything!" Anakin's four year old voice was sweet and innocent.

"Yes, just like you." The voice was loving and soothing.

"Why did you leave him?" The boy asked.

"Is that what you have been told? That is a story for another time...but know this...I have always been with him. like I will always be with you."

"I love you Uncle Luke."

"Anakin, I love you. More than you will ever know. You are never alone...never. Do you believe me?"

"Yes...yes, I do." Touching his small hand to his heart, his fingers were exceptionally long and thin, like Ben's at that age. "You are right here."

"That is right. Now go to sleep. I will be right here. There is nothing to fear in the darkness, as long as you can see the light to guide you...and I will always be your light."

Watching from the corner, the blue almost fluorescent glow of the force ghost enveloped his son. Alerted by his presence, Luke's eyes met Ben's. Nodding, they addressed one another. Silently, Ben felt the wave of permission roll out of him. Smiling softly, Luke faded, as he watched Anakin pull his covers tightly around his little body.

Approaching the bed, Anakin was quickly drifting into sleep.

"Daddy?" He whispered.

"Yes, my son." He said while lovingly stroking his blonde hair away from his eyes, and sitting next to him.

"How did you get your scar?" The little boy reached up, running his fingers over Ben's face.

"That is a good question..." Ben pondered for a moment. "It doesn't matter how I got it, it matters that it reminds me everyday that no matter how broken something is, you can always mend it."

"I think it makes you look powerful!" His little voice jumped with a surge of excitement.

"Shhh....quiet down or your mother will know I am here and then she will make me go to bed." He teased. "No, Anakin, it is a reminder that I was not strong...and that I needed your mommy to teach me how to.... I guess you could say to be good."

"I love Mommy, she reminds me too." He said squeezing his eyes tightly and hugging his blankets.

"I do too, I love her like the sun loves the night."

"I do not understand?" He said with a puzzled expression.

"Someday you will, my son. Now sleep." He said, kissing the boy's forehead and tucking him in tightly. "Anakin, I will never let anything happen to you. I will always protect you..always."

 

 

 


	30. Wanting to forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT WARNING. like at Disneyland when it is time for the parade and you want to ride rides, move along... Nothing to see here.... Come back when the parade is over

Gently slipping back into bed, he tried to go unnoticed as she slept. Stirring slightly, Rey's arm shifted and raised above her head as she rolled toward his body heat.

Laying on his side, he looked at his wife. Stroking her hair off of her face, his eyes were wide and open, not just drinking in the sight of her but like two black holes drawing her into his mind. It happened quickly, the feeling of falling down a well, of dragging her with him, and every time it happened he felt a strange euphoria from shrouding her in his darkness. It was wicked, and sensual, and stoked his hunger in a primal way that he was never totally conscious of. 

It was instinctual, giving into the magnetic pull that was drawing both of them with such force that there were times that they did not realize that they had a choice.  Blinded by the other, free will was never part of the equation as their destinies had always been woven together from what felt like the beginning of time. Ben did not know how to live without her, in fact, his entire life before her felt like a horrible nightmare. Through their love he had been reborn, completed, no longer fractured and spinning out of control.

"Rey.....Rey......," He whispered.

"Mmmm....you came back..." She murmured, nuzzling her face against his hand that dwarfed her cheek. 

"Yes." He said, as he took her hand guiding it between his legs while leaning it to find her mouth. Neither soft nor inviting, his kiss was deep and abrupt yet sensual, dipping into her without warm up or warning. Feeling her fingers wrap around his already hard cock made him suck in against her lips, drawing her blood to the surface. Pulling back, he watched her limp head lift off the pillow, like her lips were following his heat and hunger, aching and reaching for more. 

Hunger was the best way to describe how he felt, as his mind was spinning. Taking her body, feeling her consume his manhood was the only way he could imagine feeling blank and stripped bare of the compressed layers of memories and emotions, all things he did not want to feel or think about at that moment. 

"Rey....I need you...." He whispered against her mouth, grinding against her lips again, as his fingers massaged into her scalp. "I need you to help me..."

"Anything...." She whispered back.

"Look at me." He said seriously as he pulled away. Looking back at him, fully awake and aware, she was wide eyed and listening. "I need you to help me....to forget...for right now...I need relief...it's all too much."

Rey's eyes softened as she placed her hands on either side of his long sad face. Looking into him, she did not ask questions or push, feeling the longing and the void, the lingering pangs of loss from Leia, from Han, and from Luke. She could sense his mind searching and begging to make sense of it, to reconcile all of it for good, like stepping on a hidden sliver of glass from a shattered pane after believing it had been swept away, there were sudden sharp and painful moments that would never cease to appear.

Making love to Rey was a blissful respite from the internal battle he waged daily, and her companionship was a balm to the rawness he tried so hard to keep internally controlled. But there were times when he asked for her permission to be unhinged, to let go in every sense, to hand himself over to her without fear of judgement .Surrounding him with peace, she would draw him into her, as his soul sighed from relief.

Grazing her fingertips down the peaks and valleys of his stomach muscles, she kissed him softly. Closing his eyes, the world melted away and his sole focus became her mouth, her movements, her smell, and the growing frisson between their bodies. Flowing against her will like water, he could feel the knots and weight fall away, and soon he was only reacting.

Encircling the girth of his member with her hand, her fingers barely touched. Gliding against the soft warm skin, she could feel the hardness quickly intensify as she coaxed the erotic sensations up the length and out the tip. Not completely sure what she wanted to do with him, she paid close attention to his responses, smiling as she watched his eyes roll around under his eye lids. 

 _Let me take it all from you...give it away for right now_   she thought to herself as she increased her pressure and speed. Noticing his skin turning hot and groin begin to sweat, she slowed, releasing her grip to gently stroke and tease him. Lifting his hips off the bed, his body searching for her, she responded by placing her other hand on his chest holding him down. Letting out a groan, the veins in his neck and forehead surfaced as he strained and writhed.

Licking his lower lip, she ran her tongue over the full and plump volume, gliding into a full suck. Brushing noses, the moisture of his hot breath spread against her face, wihle she sucked harder until he let out a gasp. Taking the sounds into her open mouth, she continued her assault on his senses, teasing and coaxing his ravenous hunger, turning the dark well of his mind into a raging red inferno.

Reaching for her, she pushed his hands back down, eliciting more groans and growls. 

"I need to be inside of you." He demanded. Rey only smiled and continued to tap into him. "Rey, get on top of me...I cannot hold on."

"Yes, you can." She said as she let go. 

Flexing and straining, his muscles looked glorious under the thin sheen of sweat and dim candlelight from the now stubs of pillars surrounded by mounds of melted and set wax like glowing mountains of gold.  

"Ugggghhh...this is torture." He moaned.

"I know." 

"Get on top of me!"

"No. Not yet." She soothed. 

Beginning again, she worked him until the hardness returned, only to let go as she felt him approach the edge of climax. This went on for the next hour, intermixed with deep wet kisses, sucking of flesh, and licking of sweat. Begging for release, only to be let down slowly, and back to half flaccid arousal, Ben gave into the game, being carried away to a different head space where he was half aware and fully consumed. 

"Please....for the love of....just let me cum..." he pleaded. Sensing his frustration festering into something else, into spikes of anger and rage, she climbed on top of him.

"Ben....look at me." Her voice was hypnotic and luscious to his ears, as each of his senses was amplified and aching for stimulation. Hovering, his cock slid inside the heat and wetness, and was immediately gripped by a flurry of pulsations from her muscles going wild against the engorged throbbing of his cock. Grasping his neck with her hand, she sucked on his mouth, dipping her tongue inside as she worked her hips in simultaneous slow circles. Feeling his pulse beneath her fingertips, she increased the pressure, until the rhythm of their hearts, the pulsing of her pussy, and the throbbing of his length, blurred together into one blinding euphoric ball of volatile sensation. 

"Let go, Ben.....give it all to me.." She said into his mouth, squeezing his neck as much as she could, making his ears throb and eyes cloud. 

Reacting, his hands grabbed on to her waist as he sat straight up, releasing a series of thrusts while pulling her hard against him. Arching his back, he roared, and in one swift and surprising movement, she found herself on her back staring up at his dripping face and bared teeth. Hissing as he pumped his hips, he held back the ejaculation he had been begging for. Taking control, he felt his body swallow back the powerful wave of pleasure that was traveling up from the base of his spine, not willing to let the ecstasy end. 

Wet and slippery, their bodies slid. Guiding her from one position to the next, he had his way, indulging himself in the pain of restraint. Counting out loud, he marked each of her orgasms, and as he felt it build and release like a gush of water and riddled with erratic ripples, he intensified his movements. Pushing and driving her to the same edge, he would pause and watch the pleasure engulf her, mesmerized, only to begin again and work her back to the same level of agonizing bliss.

"Ben....I can't keep going....it hurts too much." She moaned and pleaded.

"Yes...you can.... and you will again and again...I am not done." He growled, sucking on her neck, slowing his pace. "You are mine....and I need you... I need you to help me kill this pain...please." His words and breath were labored and short. Letting out the remorse and mourning, she felt him completely.

"I am with you." She whispered.

Rolling her head to the side, she gave herself, surrendering to his will and desires, carried away into the dark inferno. 


	31. Quiet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT WARNING: What can I say? I am in one of those moods where plot is lost to me and all I care about is the two of these lovers coming together. I love the idea of the passage of time and a profound level of intimacy. I have read some posts about how people do not believe that Ben would be so kinky, I disagree. I think that he would be, but it would not be calculated or researched. It would be his natural response to his desire for Rey, and if that is kinky so be it :)

"Hold on to me." He said as he wrapped her legs around his waist. Rising from the bed, walking them to the moonlit terrace, he sat her on the stone balustrade overlooking the lake and mountains. The night air was moist and humid from the surrounding water and colorful plants that twisted and wove their way through the decorative masonry.

Both of their senses were wide open, spreading out into the space between and inside, like veins of awareness reaching and seeking, speaking to the cosmic heartbeat that was unfolding as they moved. Colors were brighter and more vibrant, flower textures were softer and velvety, even the stone against her bare skin scraped sharper that she expected. 

"Spread your legs....I want to look at you." His voice was low and smoky with arousal.

"Like this?" She said smiling, as she opened her knees. 

"God, yes." He said while unsuccessfully trying to stop shivering at the sight of her spread open. Placing her feet on the ledge on either side of him, he lowered to his knees. The moonlight illuminated her tan skin, bathing every slope and curve in silver light. The precisely manicured hair between her legs was glistening and wet from their lovemaking, and as he took in the sight of the bright pink folds that were raw from the friction and force of his body, he bit down on his lower lip trying to hold on to what was left of his self control. 

"I think my cock is going to explode." He laughed nervously as his face hovered around the plump and soft flesh, brushing his nose against her fine silky hair, and grazing his lips against the hard pearl-like nub that sent her body into a series of shakes. "I love to taste you....and smell you..and kiss you here....I want to be inside of you....in every way possible. I can't get enough." 

Latching on to her, she let out a cry that echoed over the calm surface of the lake. The lapping of the waves against the shore line, mixed with the sounds of his mouth sucking and his tongue scooping into the wet warm opening that he had just filled and stretched, made her eyes roll back and her her body go limp. Locking her elbows, her hands gripped onto the stone, catching herself as she began to fall back. 

"Ben...damnit Ben.....fucking hell!" She cried, as she looked down at the head of black hair positioned between her legs. Running her fingers through the silky waves, she gripped hard and began to guide his head against her, finding the spot that sent her shaking uncontrollably. Pulling away, looking up at her hard nipples and heaving torso, he plunged forward, wrapping his lips around her clit sucking in long deep pulls while flicking his tongue. Using his hand to pull back against the mound of hair and flesh that protected her, he spread her open further. 

"Rey, spread yourself for me." He said in between sucking and licking.

Sliding her hand over his, she reached down and pushed against the sensitive folds of her sex, opening up to the cold night air mixed with his hot breath and mouth. The varying temperature made her hyper aware of her aching opening, where he had drove into her again and again, where his flesh had sought to pound them into one; to thrust and grind, eliminating even the smallest measurement of space that could separate them.

Looking up, their eyes locked, as he dug in deeper while watching her eyes flicker and glaze over. 

"Make me cum, Ben. Come on.....make me." She challenged him.

"Really?" He said as he pulled away from her. "Oh....I will."

Grabbing her around her waist he turned her upside down, positioning her mouth over his cock. 

"I will make you cum, when you make me cum." He said as he buried his head into her again, while she sucked with complete abandon.

Staggering to the padded lounge, he collapsed forward, dropping her onto the soft surface making sure to not let her mouth leave his skin. Massaging the hard muscles of his buttocks, she let him fill her mouth, trusting him completely to control the pressure and pace. 

Rolling onto his side, he continued to devour her, lapping at the wetness that continued to flow. Grinding her hips against his face, she had surrendered to the fact that she had lost control of her body. The more her hips undulated, the harder she sucked, pulling out his cock to rub it against her mouth, working her lips up and down the length. It was when he rolled her on top of him that she came. Sitting up straight, rolling her hips against his mouth, she felt the pleasure erupt. The wave was so strong it was paralyzing, silencing her moans and cries, and her breathing. 

"Breathe, Rey.....breathe...." He said , lifting her up. Finally exhaling, she gushed into his mouth and over his face.

"I can't stop it.....I am sorry...." She cried out, as the aftershocks stormed inside of her. 

"Sorry?"

Slipping out from beneath, he placed her on her back. Unsure of how he managed it, she was still lost in the contracting bursts of pleasure, but surprised when she saw his shadow descend over her. Wet and shiny from her juices, his pouty lips looked full and beautiful, making her hungry to taste him, to fill her mouth with his flesh again. 

"You are not done yet." He stated, as his fingers slid inside. Rapidly pulling against the internal ridge that concealed the small rough patch of flesh, the mysterious spot that provoked a wicked response, he was focused and relentless. 

Face and torso reddened, skin shiny from the mixture of sweat, cum, and tears, Rey climaxed again. Feeling her body clamp down on his hand made him pull harder and faster, until she arched off the bed, into his arm that was waiting to catch her. Pulling out in the midst of her peak, he thrust inside of her one more time, pushing against the uncontrolled spasms and ultra tight squeezing of her pussy. No longer holding back the flow of cum that pumped up through his shaft, he filled her up. On and on it went, as he propelled himself against her, while crying into her hair, cheeks, and neck. He spoke indecipherable words, growled, and moaned, while his body jerked as the last streams pinched out. 

Collapsing on top of her, they both labored to regain their breathing and steady their heartbeats. 

"Kiss me, my love." She murmured.

 Sticky and slick, he kissed her slowly, taking his time to absorb the smell and taste of his mouth mixing with hers. Calling out for a blanket, one of their house droids came rolling. Thick and warm, it was large enough to cover two of him, which made it the perfect size. Wrapped up and cocooned together, they laid in contentment waiting for the sun to rise. 

"I am so tired, but I want to feel you inside of me again." She said while running her fingers against his chest. 

Pulling her leg over him, he entered her again. Laying still, they kissed slowly and sensually, intertwined and connected, waiting for the sun to shower them with light.

 

 

 


	32. Sunrise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT warning: FYI.   
> I keep wondering if I will ever find an end to this story but I have a few followers that asked me to keep going. I really thrive from your comments and feedback so please leave me a message if you enjoyed what you have read. ALSO, it is hard to believe but this story is almost at 10,000 hits, something I NEVER thought would happen! Thank you, with all of my heart, for staying with me and reading. 
> 
> My writing started as an smutty outlet, but this particular story actually turned into more, and I really love it.
> 
> Please share this story with your friends if you think they would enjoy it! I have no idea what I will do when it hits 10,000!!!!!  
> Thank you again :)

"MMmmmm....wake up." Her voice tickled his ears and her mouth planted kisses all over his face. Still intertwined with the soft sherpa blanket, their bodies were hot and stuck together. Laying on his side, the skin above his collar bone and the warm curve of his neck fit her head perfectly next to his pillow. Nuzzling into him, she breathed in his smell.

"Let's stay here." He whined. Wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her closer, he rocked his hips to find his way back inside.

"I guess we can stay a bit longer." She smiled against his neck, and although he could not see her expression, he could feel her lips.  Kissing him lightly, she began to suck and draw against the sensitive flesh. 

"Rey.....not again. I am going to have to wear my cowl to cover it." He laughed and squirmed. 

"Ben...." She said, abruptly pulling away, resting her chest on his, reaching up to touch his face.

"Yes? Why did you stop....keep going." Closing his eyes, he offered his neck to her. 

"Look at me." She said seriously.

"What?" Smiling, he looked back at her. The sun had begun to kiss the horizon, shining from behind her, making her skin glow gold. Softening, his smile transformed from wide and open, showing his teeth, to closed and serene. 

"I love your smile." She said while stroking his hair.

Taken aback and not knowing what to say, he was still shy when she complimented him.

"Was I smiling? No....I don't smile." He teased, brushing her hair back and away from her face, guiding her on top of him. "There are my hazel eyes.....eyes like the green forest of Takodona....and gold like like the sunrise...and orange like the desert sand.." He stretched his neck to kiss her between her breasts, pulling back on the makeshift ponytail.

"Mmmmm.....such a poet...who knew that the great Kylo Ren was such a romantic?"

"Who?" He said as he wrapped her in the blanket, knowing she was always cold. 

"You know, the masked man that swept me away in his arms, restrained me, and tried to enter my mind....you know, that sexy guy."

"Oh, he is still here...somewhere....do you want to see him?" He responded innocently.

Rey started to laugh. Clearly she had not planned on provoking him.

"You mean do I want to see the man that took me against my will?"

"Maybe.....but not really....uhhhh....no. The guy that was so curious and swept away by you that he had no other choice than to take you away with him....because he wanted to know more..... and then you tried to kill him.....you know, true love." He smiled up at her.  

Smiling back, she shifted her hips over the throbbing hard length that was growing beneath her, using her movements to guide it inside. Never breaking their gaze, his eyes twitched as her body surrounded him, as her lips fell into a full pout and her eyes narrowed. 

Laying back he pushed his hips against her, flexing and stretching deeper inside, making both of them groan. 

"I just want to look at you....surrounded by the sunrise." He said softly, pulling away the blanket. Rolling her hips, she worked against him, as her body quickly responded by covering them both in the ever present slick wetness.

"God's, Rey. Will it always be like this?" He moaned, closing his eyes while rolling his head from side to side.

"I hope so...." She sighed.  Sliding his hand between her legs, he covered it with the wetness. Using his index finger, he began to trace a symbol on her torso, beneath her breasts. Dipping in again, he continued to write as she watched and tried to control the throbbing that was thundering in her ears. "What is this?"

Now serious, his face had relaxed and focused. Touching his lips while he worked, he took her fingers into his mouth, gently sucking.

"It says.....I love you." Low and velvety, his voice transformed from the sweet and kind Ben, to the darkly wicked tone of the masked creature from her dreams. It was a voice that licked and absorbed into her skin, that hypnotized and seduced her. Looking down at the shiny streaks of their mixture, she could make out the strokes and form of the symbols, like he had branded her, marking her as his.

Straining, he sat up halfway, licking the sweet and salty liquid off of her skin while his hands massaged and kneaded her muscles, resting on her hips. As his tongue made contact, he felt her muscles relax and push out, followed by a flurry of pulses that attacked his cock. 

"Come here." He growled.

"How do you want me?" She cried softly.

"Uhhh.....every way all at once...no really....come here." He smiled again, laying her back against his chest. "Let's watch the sunrise together."

Sliding inside again, he rocked his hips against her from behind. Taking her hand, he placed it between her legs. 

"Do it for me. I want to watch you do it.....I want to watch you cum for me." His hot breath tickled her neck and the timbre of his voice thickened. Grabbing on to her hair again, he pulled her head back, opening up the long line from her earlobe down to her shoulder. Licking, biting, and kissing the soft skin, he watched her hand work in small circles. "Noooooo...."

"What's wrong?" She said self consciously.

"Rey, you are my wife....you are my lover....for the rest of our lives....why would you be afraid. Show me....show me how you do it. Cum on me." His breathing was heavy and his words were labored. Grazing his hand up her stomach he massaged her breasts, pinching and working each nipple, before settling his long fingers and huge palm around her neck applying light pressure.

"Ben...I can't".

"Yes....and you will....let me help you."

Intensifying the pressure on her neck, he held her there like a predator pining down it's prey. Taking a deep breath, he focused, internally conjuring the ability to manipulate the energy surrounding them. 

Rey gasped as she felt the tendrils of force twist and wrap their way up her legs.

"Open up to me, Rey." His words were laced with a darkness, a delicious deviance with complete reassurance. "Do it now. Let go."

Taking deep concentrated breaths, Rey began again, stroking the wet soft skin where their bodies came together. Straddling her index and middle fingers around his cock, she felt the fluid smooth pumps of his hips that drove his thick hard flesh in and out. 

Finally letting go, it felt like cutting the string of a balloon, watching it gracefully float and rise up into the clouds until it faded from sight, and she was left with the sound of his panting and growls, and the wet slapping of their skin. Arching off of his chest, swallowing all of the strange emotions that were holding her back, she gave into him and his desires, discovering the raw truth that it was what she wanted all along.

If she had believed she knew freedom before that moment, she was wrong. If she believed she knew it was about her pleasure, she was wrong. It was always about him, in the back of her mind, desperate to please, to gain his approval, and she did not understand why? Maybe it was her agonizing need to belong? To keep what was hers, never allowing love to slip away again? 

 _Stop thinking_ she could hear and feel him in her mind. The rush was sudden and overwhelming, when he shared what he was thinking and feeling in it's entirety. Much like when they first touched, but amplified to a level that she could have never imagined, her essence wove into his. 

Raking his fingertips up the length of her body, she twisted and stretched into him. 

"I know what you want." She whispered.

Using her hands to stretch herself open until the skin was taught and firm, the sensations intensified. Picking up speed, his hips pounded, making her skin shake and breasts bounce against his palms.

Rubbing her clit, she moaned and cried out. Dipping her fingers in with his cock, he responded by sliding two fingers into her mouth. Sucking, unleashing her guttural moans against the mouthful, he stretched her lips open, pulling down to his. Kissing her against his fingers, their tongues danced and twirled, as she vigorously rubbed and slapped her pussy with her hand and his cock. 

"Bear down on me." He groaned. Obeying, she locked her hips in place, squeezing her muscles as hard as she could. With his mind, and his cock, he delivered an assault on her body and senses, sending the energy in a blast of euphoric dark pleasure. It was the darkness that whispered and promised the answers to secrets, the voices that tickled and coaxed her forbidden places.

When it hit, it felt like the ground was quaking, and the water was crashing, and the mountains were crumbling. Unfurling, layer upon layer peeled back in her mind and her abdomen. Like a flower blooming until every petal was drawn back, her body opened to the flow of his seed. It was that moment, that the two converged, where light met dark, that her womb split into two and the Solo twins were conceived. 


	33. Secrets

_Grandmother_ He reached out with his senses.

The sound of his heavy booted footsteps echoed upward into the vaulted ceiling. It was an immense room that was far bigger than the average tomb, a space for a Queen, adorned with glittering mosaics telling her, their, sad and tragic story.

The wound was still raw for the people of Naboo. Never had they lost someone so beloved, let alone in such a tragic way. Fresh flowers were replaced daily, as it was well known that Padme Amidala loved them. More than 50 years had passed, and the space venerating their beloved Queen remained pristine. Commissioned and completed on the grounds of the Riverland Palace, they had broken from the civic tradition of laying her to rest in the Capital, open for public visitation.

It was how she would have wanted it, as it was her last wish to have her baby there. Many believed it was yet another way to to hide the secret forbidden love responsible for bringing down the republic, but the truth was far more painful. The Riverland palace was the spot of their marriage vows, the place that she imagined raising their child, and the only truly peaceful and happy time they had ever known. 

 _Grandfather_. Had he ever been there? Was he responsible for this hidden relic? It seemed unlikely that a man so twisted from his pain and darkness would do something so sentimental. Closing his eyes and reaching out, Ben could feel that he had once been standing in the same spot, and digging deeper he revealed that the great Darth Vader had been here many times. The impression of his energy was still living on the surface, like he had intentionally bound himself to her memory, to her soul.

Unfolding the memories, he could see the tall black figure kneeing with his head bowed. He could feel the violent waves of loss and self hatred, and he could see the twisted motivation for being there; initially driven to visit out of love and longing, only to distort it to fuel his anger and dark power. Pain was all he had left.

Ben felt empathy for him, and longed to speak to him, but for some reason the force had shut off that connection. Instead, he spent years meditating on a melted helmet begging for guidance and answers, only to be met with silence. That mask represented the other great secret, revealed to him by accident, that Darth Vader was his grandfather. He had committed that exact moment to memory, as it was the first time he felt unashamed for the internal battle he had been waging, always, for as long as he could recall a sense of personal awareness.

Circumabulating the sarcophagus and letting his arm drag behind, he let his fingertips graze the carved stone, helping to commit the image to his memory. The rendering was petite, youthful, a small young woman with flowing curly hair surrounding her body like a halo. Hands overlapping, holding a small crude carving resembling a child's toy, it seemed odd for an image of high royalty to be depicted with something so beneath her status; but nothing about this memorial was typical. Intermittently stopping to evaluate, Ben was impressed; the sculptor was so skilled at capturing her beauty it was easy to forget it was just a fine piece of art, concealing within the stone depths a pile of dust.

Confused, he did not know why he was drawn to this place. After so many visits as a child, and now years spent on the planet he considered a second home, he had always resisted. 

Wondering what she would have thought of him, he shook his shoulders, trying to brush off the encroaching thoughts of self hatred. There was something about her, a strange warmth and familiarity, that had kept him away; like she was speaking to him and saying things he was never ready to hear. If only he had opened up to it, his life might have been easier, but she was such a mystery to him. Even his mother had no personal recollection of her birth mother and could only tell him stories that had been passed on to her,instead relying on telling stories of her childhood on Alderaan.

 _Why are you speaking to me now? After all of this time?_ He thought to himself, turning toward the wall of glass that overlooked the lake and green mountains. 


End file.
